How could this be better? No way. It's perfect. You are an adult and a child when you write this. A child in transition and you take us to that moment. The dialogue is terrific. A pleasure to read this story.
Thank you for sharing the story with the community. Thank you for engaging with other writers. It is much appreciated.
Thank you very much for this, I'm glad you find it so.
And I'll keep engaging with authors.