You have an interesting writing style, @fairylaw. If this story was a painting, it would be in the impressionistic style.
We have a recommendation for you. Long paragraphs are difficult to read. Could you please break them up into smaller paragraphs?
For example, here's the first part of your story:
She was a rather attractive doctor of those who uniquely combine a brilliant intelligence with an angelic face, her life had become an unsalvageable loop and at the same time an unbearable routine. She would get up in the morning, from there to her job where she would spend the whole day and once again return home.That night the loop was broken, the bus she normally take to go home every day had broken down and she had to start walking home.On the way despite the tiredness of the day she could contemplate the streets with their lights and colorful buildings, she looked to the right and saw a park full of young people his age laughing and having fun with their mobiles. Will I ever be able to have fun like that? In reality nothing was stopping her, the only reason for her loneliness was herself and her desire to excel and be the best at what she does. A little before arriving home she found a small sparrow that was on the ground, it seemed dead but when she took it in her hands she realized that it was still moving, despite the compassion she felt for helpless things the doctor could not do anything to save the little sparrow so she decided to leave it on top of a tree in the backyard of her house.
To improve the experience for the reader, you could break it up like this:
She was a rather attractive doctor of those who uniquely combine a brilliant intelligence with an angelic face, her life had become an unsalvageable loop and at the same time an unbearable routine. She would get up in the morning, from there to her job where she would spend the whole day and once again return home.
That night the loop was broken, the bus she normally take to go home every day had broken down and she had to start walking home. On the way despite the tiredness of the day she could contemplate the streets with their lights and colorful buildings, she looked to the right and saw a park full of young people his age laughing and having fun with their mobiles.
Will I ever be able to have fun like that?
In reality nothing was stopping her, the only reason for her loneliness was herself and her desire to excel and be the best at what she does.
A little before arriving home she found a small sparrow that was on the ground, it seemed dead but when she took it in her hands she realized that it was still moving, despite the compassion she felt for helpless things the doctor could not do anything to save the little sparrow so she decided to leave it on top of a tree in the backyard of her house.
Also, as we mentioned in our comment on your first story, we ask everyone who publishes in The Ink Well to read and comment on the work of at least two other community members for each story published in the community. Thank you.