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RE: War Bicycle / Bicicleta de Guerra

in The Ink Well5 months ago

This is sophisticated, effective, meaningful writing. You leave the reader with a mind troubled by thoughts of conflict.

The piece starts cleverly. We don't know the bicycle is the narrator. When we find out, our attention, which is already yours, is more fully in your hands. The justice of the bicycle's action is clear.

While this story impresses us with the quality of its concept and its execution, we do have to caution about the use of violence. We have strict rules about graphic violence. Ordinarily this might not receive an upvote from the Inkwell, but the piece is so worthy and the violence a necessary element in the story,that we have stretched our rule a bit for you.

Note these passages, please:

sharp blow that partially stuck him, knocked him unconscious and he bled to death,side to side...and... there was nothing to be done, his stomach and some organs were severely damaged. His death would come hours later.

One of the difficulties in upvoting a piece with violence such as this is that less sophisticated writers might not draw distinctions between what you do in this story and what they might do in their stories. How does one describe gratuitous?? It's hard, so we just have a rather fast rule about violence.

Thank you for sharing this remarkable story with us. It is one that will leave every reader thinking.

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Hi, thank you very much indeed for reading and giving such good merits to my writing. I am satisfied with your words alone.

I guess, I have sinned by ignorance and I agree with that very important rule. Sometimes one gets carried away by the imagination and leaves aside the rest, how the safety of potential readers, however words can be very harmful. I just really hope that readers do not misrepresent my writing and make bad decisions for their works or have come up with a wrong thought about it.

If you feel like making any other decisions regarding this writing, I will understand. I am already more than forewarned for future works.

Thank you very much