I'm not sure it's legal to have this much fun when you write a story!! So, quiet Billy is the culprit as a farce worthy of the Three Stooges unfolds. This is wonderful. It cannot be, in the annals of short stories, that a meaty prompt was put to such gleeful use.
Thank you for posting this tour de force in the Ink Well community.
Thank you for your lovely comments, they made me as gleeful as the bacon prompt lol!