This story is so charming, @menace123. You are a good storyteller. The conflicts that occur with the lost keys and the missing Derick are realistic to the point where a reader might even believe this is a work of nonfiction.
We do have some tips for you, and suggest that over time you work to improve the grammar. There is a free version of a grammar checker at Grammarly.com. You will find that it points out many of your errors. We also have a helpful article in our catalog of fiction writing tips called Help for the Grammatically Challenged. Check it out!
Thank you for sharing your story in The Ink Well, and for reading and commenting on the work of other community members.
Thank you very much for commenting on my post, it is encouraging. And I will do well to check out the grammar checkers to improve my writing. Thank you.