You offer us a narrative of redemption, @raymondpeter. While you develop the characters well and have an arc, your form is not traditional. Experimentation is good, usually, but in this case the story would be better served if you used the traditional dialogue format. For example, in the first instance when someone speaks, the format should look like this:
Madame Kofosy asks, "Eh! Who is that person?"
Elizabeth enters and in a panicked voice declares, "Peace be unto this house, my friend you are the one I came here to see. On my way out, this afternoon I saw your son Teppy at the junction fell down in the gutter and he could not be able to stand up from there, so let us go and take him from there."
As you have structured the story, it reads as a play. A play is a good thing, but we publish stories, not plays. Again, it is good to experiment with form, but in this case you give stage direction as well as dialogue. It would be easy to make this a story. However, if you want to write plays, there are writing communities here that certainly would welcome this form.
We have given you an upvote this time, because the story/play straddles the forms. But next time, we cannot do that if you post another play/story.
Thank you for thinking of the Ink Well when you write creatively.