This is an interesting and imaginative story, @restcity, exploring the notion that babies start out as stars. But it was a touch confusing how the baby started out in the galaxy, then went to earth and then to heaven!
Have you checked out our catalog of fiction writing tips? It provides some great resources on fiction writing. You will find guidance on how to build characters, integrate action and dialog, write story plots, add a story arc and more.
Keep writing!