Your story is full of rich imagery and interesting ideas, @sapphireissafy. It reads like a legend, and though it is not written in a traditional format, it propels the reader forward.
You use some delightful language throughout.
"I saw it on your face, that glory in your pupils when you saw a barque passing by from afar, that astonishing crescent on your smile each time a hawk hovered upon your head. Soon after I realized that to be forgotten is a very great thing."
Very nicely done!
One tip for you: When you start a dialogue interaction between characters, it's important to label the first one with a dialogue tag so the reader can easily determine who is speaking.
Thank you for sharing your story in The Ink Well, and for reading and commenting on the work of other community members.