A wonderful story, @seki1, fully realized. Strong hook,definitive resolution, complete character arc. If there is a weakness, it is in the transition from the third to fourth paragraph. You do the switch in time well, but the lack of a space between paragraphs there makes the transition awkward for just an instant.
Thank you for sharing this great story with us,@seki1. We appreciate that you offer meaningful feedback to other authors in the community.
I'm actually a newbie in writing, so I'm still learning a lot, at times I read my stories again and again and re-edit them as I see fit. So I might see what I can do about those paragraphs ☺️
Thanks to you too always for such a great community to read and write.
It's always a pleasure to partake in prompts and see what creativity can be spun from a single word or phrase♥️