Hi @totyahmed731993. Thank you for joining us in The Ink Well. Your story is interesting, but a bit hard to follow, as many of the sentences seem to have random words, or mixed-up words. Perhaps you wrote it in another language and didn't use a high-quality translation tool?
We always like to encourage new writers, however. So, we would like to direct you to some resources that can help you on your writing journey. Please see our catalog of fiction writing tips which provides many great resources for writers who are just starting out.
In particular, please see the post Help for the Grammatically Challenged. It provides tips for using Google Docs to draft your posts. You can do this on a PC or a smart phone. Google Docs will point out errors in grammar and wording choice, which you can then fix by clicking on them.
Also, please be sure to read our community rules, which you can find at the top of The Ink Well community page get acquainted with our community. We ask every writer who posts in The Ink Well to read and comment on at least two other stories for each story published.