You create a good atmosphere of tension with your narration and dialogues, @treasure-joshua although when we finish reading your story we don't find a resolution to the proposed plot and we don't know how the story ends.
We often provide feedback to writers who are just getting started. The Ink Well has some great resources in our catalog of fiction writing tips. For example, we have tips on developing characters in your stories, and integrating action, dialog and narrative. These resources can help you learn how to include the important elements of fiction in your stories.