Well done for integrating action and dialogue into your piece, Usman! Your submission is a lot more balanced now. Is this piece a true story from your life ie: creative non-fiction, or is it a piece of fiction? It feels more like fiction the way it has been written. You built the conflict nicely in waves, from the death of his parents, to his desire for education being withheld, to his losses in the crypto markets. You show the rise and fall from conflict to resolution or part-resolution as you develop the story. We also get a good sense of Danny's plight and his uncle's selfishness through the dialogue. I would have loved to have seen a bit more around how Danny came to live with his uncle after his parents' passing and the impact it had on him. Little bits of foreshadowing showing the change in his uncle's demeanour towards him as a result of him having access to and control of the inheritance. I would also have loved to have known what happened in the end. What did Danny do to overcome the latest obstacle that he faced in his life?
Please do remember to support at least two other writers in The Ink Well for each story that you post. Without our writers supporting each other, we would not have a community 🤗
It was a non fictional story written by in fictional as I didn’t want to clearly nominate the characters. That’s why i chose that way
Thanks for your appreciation. Yes community is where we support each other and i love to read blogs posted in inkwell as they depict the talent of writer and give many things to learn in . I support them in the form of upvote and comment whenever i like to give my opinion
Thank you for your clarification, Usman. A suggestion regarding #CNF is to stipulate at the bottom of your post that names have been changed for privacy reasons. This will indicate more clearly that your story is #CNF. Part of the rules of our community is that we all support at least two other stories for each one that we share. This also requires us to engage with the authors on the posts about their stories. It is always ok not to comment on stories that you read but don't resonate with or have nothing to add (because we don't want to encourage spam comments), but if you wish to be part of the community and to share your posts here, we do require active meaningful engagement on at least two posts each time. So read a few more and find two that you do want to engage with... Hope you have a lovely day :-)