I think this part of my life deserves to be called the next chapter, you know that feeling when everything just starts to shift ,I mean not necessarily fast, but enough to just make you sit down and think about how far you have come, yeah ... That is exactly where I am right now.
So lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking about school, my kids, and how to balance everything without losing my mind and the truth is, I have always had it in mind to go back to school ,you see that part never left my plans, I just thought it was going to be in another state entirely, and in my head, I already pictured myself in a new environment, maybe meeting new people and just starting fresh somewhere else, but when reality kicked in, the cost, the distance, and the whole situation around me ,I had to rethink things.
So I sat down in the room one afternoon, scrolling through my phone, trying to calculate what next to do, when my cousin Abigail walked into the room.
Ahn Ahn! Treasure, what is with that kind face ehn? she asked, laughing as she dropped her bag on the bed.
I sighed, Omo see lemme o Abby, I am just thinking about this school matter and my life again jawe, I have been trying to figure out what is best for me right now.
She raised her brows, Oh you mean the direct entry thing, you are not going to do that one again?
Yeah o , I nodded slowly, you know initially, that was the plan, i wanted to just go straight to university, but looking at things now, the money, the stress, the time ,Omo me I don’t think it is realistic anymore, I don’t have four more years to spend in school, not with everything I have got going on.
She sat beside me, oya so what is the plan now na?
I smiled faintly, I just think I will just go for my HND, since it is two years, and it still gets me my qualification, and see honestly, I feel ready for it, I will probably just do it at the same school I went to before, at least I already know the system, and I can manage my time better that way.
Abigail nodded thoughtfully, Hmmm... sha that actually makes sense, you have got the kids to think about too, Two years is more reasonable, you can juggle both.
That is what I thought too, I said, leaning back on the wall, you know how life is, sometimes we plan for one thing, and life just redirects us, I used to think going to another state would give me a fresh start, but maybe my fresh start isn’t about location, maybe it is just about mindset, how I decide to handle things from now.
She smiled, that is deep o, but you are right, see your next chapter does not have to be far away to be meaningful.
That line stuck with me , your next chapter does not have to be far away to be meaningful.
Since that day, I have been seeing things differently, I no longer feel bad that I am not doing the direct entry thing anymore. I have realized that what matters most is progress, no matter how slow it looks from the outside, I mean, I have got two amazing kids to raise, and I still want to build something for myself too, this next phase, for me, is about balancing both worlds, motherhood and education without losing my sense of purpose.
Sometimes I sit at night and think about how I will just manage everything when school starts again, the assignments, the classes, and still coming home once in a while to check homework, cook, and listen to my kids tell me stories about their day, it is not going to be easy, but I know I will find my rhythm somehow, I have done harder things before.
Abigail said something the other day that made me laugh, she said that, "Treasure, I honestly don’t know how you do it sometimes, you are like a one-woman army."
I laughed, Abby o, I just do what I have to do, there is really no other option, when you have kids depending on you, giving up stops being an option.
That is the truth , I may get tired, but I don't stop, I mean I can’t, never
So yeah, this right here, this moment, is the beginning of my next chapter, I don’t know what it holds exactly, but I am ready to walk through it, ready to embrace whatever comes my way , the stress, the joy, the little wins, all of it, I have learned that growth doesn’t always happen in big leaps, see sometimes it is just small steps in the right direction.
And maybe, just maybe, that is all I need for now.
Image is Mine
Yeah, you will through for many things in your life like everyone in this world, so keep going, don't give up.
I'm not giving up.never
Your next chapter does not need to be far away for it to meaningful is actually deep.
Yeah it is deep
That’s a good idea and I believe God will help you figure it out. We might not know what the future lies ahead but we sure must trust Him to guide us every step of the way.