Wow, first of all, kudos for a powerful and very effective hook with so few words!
I really felt the tension and the exact feelings of the kids. Them defending their mother, their home. Indeed the kids can differentiate and their stance can be well understood.
The ending was also as powerful as the begining, other than your flawless use of the prompt, the words didn't lose any strength to them, on the contrary they became stronger!
Thank you for that delightful read @agmoore. Despite the sad situation that family is living and the story being touching, it was a quite enjoyable and well written story.
!LUV
@yaziris(1/1) gave you LUV.
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You're invited! - LUV's 1st birthday celebration!
Hello my colleague and friend, @yaziris. I'm glad you like the 'hook'. Some might find it a little lean, but that's how I write. Sometimes I joke that the perfect story, if I ever write it, will have one word.
I tried to create unity, like a circle, from beginning to end, to wrap it up. Something neat about that. It is a sad situation. No Norman Rockwell, soft tone here. This is a reality that many people live.
Thank so much for reading my story and for your positive feedback. I rarely write stories (for publication) because it feels risky. This time it was worth the risk.
Hope you are well, and peaceful right now.
😇