Impressive! I was hooked throughout the story. The resolution was a bit surprising to me though.
Are we safe to assume that his issues come from some sort of PTSD then?
I have to say though, kudos for writing about "bullying" without writing about it, and for practically doing a "mass murder" without doing it. That was very clever 😁
Well done @mosin-nagant!
@yaziris, I never led to PTSD, yet you have paved the way for the story that leads to that place. Yes, I think Frederick did.
For your compliments, I am very grateful. I hope I am blessed with the desire to continue learning to write.
Regards
Well deserved compliments aside, I can provide some "different" feedback if you want.
I saw it as a nice flow of ideas, gripping, but yet slightly disconnected especially towards the end, it can get confusing and puts a lot of pressure on the reader's immagination.First, I was led to understand that some spider bit him while he was reaching for the lens behind the cupboard in the lab. Possibly because of what Katty said "because I just saved you from the spider monster hypnosis" (I didn't really get that).
But then when the revelation about his family and orphanage comes, the PTSD idea became more dominant, and could explain somewhat his internal feelings and thoughts about making people disappear, his longing for his family, and many of his other issues.
I hope I'm making sense?
Either way, I enjoyed reading your story @mosin-nagant.
Yes, of course. That makes a lot of sense, and thank you so much. I think that can improve the blandness of the story I wrote. Thank you very much for your input. I really appreciate it.
It's nice to study in this place with you. I am serious when I say that I would love to be awarded the desire to learn. Sometimes, after writing a few times, I feel like I can write, even though it's very devastating. Thank you very much ☺️