“I love your outfit” and you instinctively respond with “Oh my god! I also love yours!”
It’s like a game of compliments ping-pong, only that neither side is true.
Lately, I have observed this behavior and I wondered: why do we feel the need to give them right back as if passing on hot potatoes? Shouldn’t we just take them gracefully and let them make us warm inside?
Authenticity is everything to me. When someone pays me a compliment, I want him or her to know that what said meant something. In place of returning the sentiment automatically, I try to say thank you genuinely.
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A case in point would be the following situation: “Hey, your outfit looks amazing.” Instead of repeating “Thanks, yours too,” i may state, “Thank you very much for saying that because now I am more convinced about these shoes matching well with this dress.”
Can you see the difference? By showing some vulnerability and expressing how I felt about the compliment, not only do I recognize the person’s kind act but also strengthen our relationship.
Why does this have to be so important? Just think of it. When we pass compliments to and fro like a game of throw catch, they lose value. They become meaningless words without any real emotions or sincerity attached to them.
We take a second to really receive the compliment and therefore make it matter. We are informing other individual that by speaking those words they are affecting us positively and influencing ourselves.
And here is what: when you make another person feel good about himself, you also feel great about yourself. This is mutually beneficial. So why not say yes?
I have discovered that if I am more mindful of how I react to compliments, I become more aware of the power of words. It is amazing how one simple thank you can make someone’s day.
Certainly there is a very thin line between sincere thanks and insincere flattery. No one likes ass kissers. But when you mean it, your true self comes out.
Therefore, next time somebody compliments you, instead of treating it like garbage from yesterday, spare a moment or two to relish it and let it soak in. If interested, pay back when satisfied. You never know what even an unkind word could do to someone’s life.
Ultimately though, it is the thought that counts not the words themselves so every compliment must be treated as such and let us start counting them by expressing our heartfelt “thank you”.
But what would be wrong with beginning with something as simple as saying something nice about somebody else in a world that needs love?
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