I have grown up and noticed something strange about overprotective parents; they tend to breed excellent liars. Let me explain myself before you make any hasty conclusions on this matter. They seem to make their children become good at lying by being too careful with them, though it is done out of love. This is what I have observed in my own life as well as among my peers.
Image sourced
What does it mean to grow up with overprotective parents?
These are the mothers and fathers who continuously follow around their children wherever they go, watch over everything they do and protect them from every possible harm even if it means creating a bubble around them. Yes, I know that all parents want to keep their children safe but when this protection becomes too much there could be some unintended consequences.
I felt like my life was choked off by the nature of my parents since childhood; they were ever present, always inquiring and worried. In retaliation, I started telling lies whenever confronted. Though nothing major but small ones just enough not to get into trouble or have a lengthy explanation of self. It became sort of a survival mechanism.
I think some overprotective parents end up raising good liars because they foster fear. Disappointing them, getting into trouble, and not meeting their expectations are some of the fears that may be experienced by these children with time. When you are always scared, it is natural to want to lie as a way of avoiding the fear at all costs.
Lying, regardless of its size eats away on trust. Trust is the essential element in any healthy relationship and mostly between parent and child. Hence while overly defensive parents may think that they are doing what’s right for their kids, this could lead to failure in future.
I have witnessed this happen repeatedly. Children who had overprotective parents become masters in deceiving people. They acquire knowledge on how to tell their folks what they wish to listen; ways of covering their tracks when lying; and how to spin things around for self-gain. At first sight, it might appear harmless however it has severe implications later on during one’s life.
What is the answer then? How can overprotective parents break this cycle of deception? It’s all about trust. Parents should trust their kids, and children need to rely on their parents. It’s that simple. Children are able to be open and honest with their mothers and fathers if they feel trusted.
Nevertheless, confidence-building requires time and effort. This means allowing children to make choices on their own, learn from errors, and become accountable adults. It also involves a little give in order for teenagers to explore the world in their own right.
However, it pays off at the end. As long as trust is at the core of parents’ relationships with their children, they will pass through any adversities life throws. They talk openly about life, love, and everything there belongs to them with honest eyes. They can sleep well knowing that each one has the other’s back no matter what happens.
So I say this to all you overprotective parents: believe in your offspring. Permit them spaces where self-discovery may occur without punishment or judgment from you as a parent. Most importantly let them know without lying that no matter what you will always be there for them
Posted Using InLeo Alpha