Grieving is natural and necessary ... we are grieving the loss of a way of life, and we don't know what the future holds. Even the Lord Jesus, knowing that He was just about to raise Lazarus from the dead, wept with those who were grieving ... He understands our pain.
The summer of 2021 is in God's hands, not revealed yet to us just as the rest of this spring and this summer is not ... I find it overwhelming to try to think that far ahead. I find it overwhelming to even think more than a week ahead. I grieve the loss of routine and rhythm, and the connections that were made that are now severed, some perhaps forever. We don't know if we are coming back from this. We don't know if businesses, organizations, and people we care about are coming back from this. It can be overwhelming, and most of us are treading water. You are not alone.
I just go knowing that God gave me the skills I have and has a place in His plan for me and those skills for as long as He wants me in this world. I grieve the fact that I no longer know exactly what that is going to look like in the future -- but I look every day for whatever I can do and then do it. It doesn't feel good, a lot of the time. I try to keep a good sermon or a nature show going (I love beekeeping videos) and to get only enough news to know what I need to know and not so much that it is overwhelming. I make use of the extra time to pray, and when it gets too bad I just close down everything, turn on something relaxing, and take a nap, and start again. There is no end in sight of the new normal. I take comfort in knowing that God is in control of all of it, and that I'll have what I need if not what I want because He promised to take care of my needs.
You are not alone. Grieve what you need to grieve. Tread water knowing that God knows just what He is doing, and will guide you even in this uncertainty we are all in. It doesn't feel good at all, and it may not for a long time ... but the Lord will get us wherever He wants to go through this. That's all there is to count on from here on out... and all there ever was, really.
@deeanndmathews Ms. Dee, thank you so much for such a thoughtful, thorough, and insightful response. I love hearing your perspective and welcome it always.
I know that God is trying to teach me lessons about letting go, and that’s really difficult for me. I heard a bit of a sermon by DawnChere Wilkerson today talking about how God is using this time to increase our flexibility and that structure and flexibility are not mutually exclusive. This is a hard concept for me to internalize, as I am someone who loves to make plans and who lives by those plans. This season is obviously taking those plans and throwing them out the window, and it leaves me feeling so crazy...fumbling, indeed. I wish it didn’t bother me as much as it does. I wish I could just move along and roll with the punches. But that’s so hard for me. I’m praying about it, but I’m definitely not there yet.
Thank you again for your words here. I definitely needed to read them, and I definitely feel God’s comfort through them. Sincerely, thank you. Take care, my friend. We will talk soon, I’m sure. :)