Government: "Hello Bobby, here is five thousand dollars. Just stay at home."

Bobby: "Can I buy food with this money?"

Government: "No. We are all out of food. Good thing we got rid of the competition in the free market. You can only get food from the government. Besides, making your own food is illegal because it's not safe. Good thing we bought up all the food. But sorry. We are all out of food. Hope you enjoy starving to death."

Bobby: "What the bloody Hell? So, what can I buy with the money you gave me as an incentive to stay at home and not work?"

Government: "Well, actually, you can't buy anything with your money. Remember, we had an economic great depression back in the year 2023, remember? Now, there are no more goods or services being made. Remember, the government monopolized everything and then drove it into the ground. Well, hope you enjoy the money you cannot use or spend on absolutely anything because there is nothing left. But good thing government kept you safe from dying. Speaking of dying, now that you were saved from death, we pray to Lord China that you truly enjoy starving to death. Have a beautiful day, stay safe, stay home which will accelerate your death, but again stay safe, and safe means dead, and have a beautiful day. Enjoy it as if it was your last day. Well, it might be your last day. Well, you can start a fire with your money to warm yourself up."

Bobby: "...."

Government: "Wait. Sorry. Scratch that. You cannot burn your money in the privacy of your own home because of the fire ban. We cannot put racist carbon into the air which trees need. Oh wait, there are no trees left in the world, thank God. Good thing we sell you oxygen which we are actually out of by the way. So, again, you can't spend your money on anything. And don't burn your cash, we will be watching you through your Smart House, the walls have eyes."

Bobby: "Wait a minute, whatever happened to private property rights? You can't spy on me, I have rights."

Government: "Careful Conrad, you're starting to sound a little toxic. Besides, the archaic cult known as land rights is way too dangerous and rights are temporarily discontinued until the government deems it safe to bring back rights. So, be a good non-binary carbon-maker and stay safe. It is for your own good. It is also for the greater good which is in active opposition to your own good. But nonetheless, let me not get ahead of myself, it is for your own good and your good must comply with the greater good which is determined by the will of the honorable global state. Live long and do not prosper. Thank you. Good bye. And please do not call back or else we will have to send the dogs back in to discipline you for Thought Crime against Humanity. Thank you."

This is a short-story written by me and it was originally posted on Gab.com

Are You Still Waiting for your Fourth Stimulus Check?

Government Gives Bobby Money He Cannot Spend In The Future
Oatmeal Daily - 2021-08-04 - Wednesday | Published in August of 2021

By Oatmeal Joey Arnold