Excuse my absents
So my target is to blog 2-3 times a week. I didn’t blog last week and this is my first this week. The lack of blogging wasn’t because of a lack of inspiration but because my husband has (or now had) Covid-19. So the note explaining my absents isn’t technically my note, but I think it’s a good enough excuse.
To blog or not?
Initially I didn’t want to blog about this. Covid has taken up so much time and media and stolen so much from so many people that I didn’t want it to steal anything else too.
However, it is in my life and it is everywhere still. So why not? Why not share my stories and experience with others that have been effected, or not but would like a read anyway, or not…
You see I have a 6 month old baby and a brother-in-law (BIL) with Downs Syndrome who lives with us and now a sick husband who can’t leave our bedroom for 10 days. There’s got to be a good story here??
Well I hope you think so…
Testing positive
My husband works in an office and in the past a few people have had covid but it’s has never been passed through the office. First there was one case (my husband didn’t have contact so all good), then another possible case. This time my husband did have contact.
During the time of waiting for the test results from this person my husband in the night got the chills. Then when he woke in the morning he had a cough. We decided not to wait but to go and get tested immediately - we had too much at risk. A baby and BIL with comorbidity.
I booked an appointment online and he went straight away to our closest “drive through” clinic. He had the Covid-19 Rapid Antigen Test, the result was quick (about 5minutes) he was positive. The lovely nurse told my husband to go home and self isolate and to send us to be tested.
We didn’t book online we just drove straight there. There was one person before us. Now you may have noticed above “drive through”. Well that’s because you can’t exactly call it a drive though. More like a “drive up”, park the car, go to the desk, have test, wait for result and go back to car. So we waited in the car for the person before us and then followed the procedure above. Luckily we both had negative test results.
The person from work was positive and in the following days 2 more people tested positive.
Self isolation
We don’t have a big house, in fact it is rather on the small side. We have an open plan kitchen/lounge and 3 bedrooms.
We decided to set my husband up in our bedroom. He has everything he needs and I just need to bring his food and drinks whilst wearing a mask and gloves.
My son and I moved in to the nursery (he still sleeps in our bedroom). We moved the cot and rearranged the furniture to make room for the both of us. At night I would use the sofa cushions as my bed and the spare blankets to keep me warm.
BIL could keep his room of course and we could use the lounge and kitchen. BIL without TV for 10 days would cause all sorts of drama that we just didn’t need.
Looking after 3 people separately
The husband
Now I am a housewife so I’m used to taking care of everyone and meeting their needs. Usually I have a cleaner who helps around the house and a carer who helps look after BIL. Luckily they hadn’t had contact with my husband. I told them not to come in for 2 weeks. No help!
I had to ensure my husband had medication, food, drinks, check his oxygen stats, wash his clothing and try and keep him company too.
Every time I went in to his room I had to put on a mask and gloves. Then everything he used I had to keep separate and run on a really hot wash in the dishwasher. Same with his clothes separate hot wash.
We read some stats on taking anti inflammatory drugs and Covid. I’m not a doctor so I won’t repeat what we read but by all means do your own research. We thought it sounded good so we ensured my husband took this. As well as lots of vitamin C, vitamin D and zinc.
We also read a study on inhalation. Again I won’t repeat what I read. We also though this was a good idea. So twice a day I had to give my husband a boiling hot bowl of water for him to inhale for 5 minute and 4 times within an hour.
This on its own doesn’t sound too bad. More than everyday marital tasks though. However, “in sickness and in health”, duty calls.
The BIL
Looking after a Downs Syndrome on a normal day has its challenges. Not only does he require help with everything he does, he also has a lack of understanding. He is also deteriorating as he is ageing and his mood and state of mind is unpredictable.
Everyday he needs to be told to get up and ready for the day. He then needs help to shave and wash. He can dress himself but needs some pointers on whether appropriate attire - “just because the sun is out that doesn't mean it’s hot, put long pants on” she says for the 1000th time.
I then prepare his medication, vitamins, coffee and breakfast for him. He takes these and eats independently. He then watches TV for the morning.
Lunch time is a matter of preparing his food. His job is to lay the table before every meal, he’s very good at this. Although sometimes he needs reminding how many people are going to be eating - table for one, forget everyone else!
He then occupies himself, he sits outside listening to music, builds puzzles (with help), colours, you know anything that keeps him busy and happy.
He then needs help with his personal car routine. I won’t go in to any more detail than that as I want to protect his dignity. Just know it’s takes long and can be a battle.
Dinner, ice cream (every night, lucky!) and then to his bedroom to drum. BIL loves God and loves to worship. He drums to worship music every night, singing his heart out to the Lord. It’s awesome, if not a little loud at times. Luckily he has an electric drum kit, but you still hear the thud of the stick on the pad. BIL’s worshipping has inspired a lot of people in the past. People love to see him so connected with God, his faith is so real and pure.
BIL has been very good considering he doesn’t fully understand why he can’t go out - he’s an extrovert. He misses his friends, his carer and “work” and asks every day when he can go back.
The baby
What can I say about the baby. He’s a 6 months old cutie pie that demands every bit of time I have. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Unfortunately, this week he has been suffering with teething symptoms quite badly. So he’s been super clingy, he’s usually pretty chilled but every time I walk away, he cries. Not his usual behaviour at all. Perhaps he can sense his daddy isn’t well. He certainly hasn’t like not being able to see him or be held by him.
We FaceTimed and went to the bedroom window so he could chat with daddy. It’s been heat braking watching his little face confused as to why daddy isn’t there.
Anyone who has children know the demands so I’m not going to go on.
Routine is key
As you see there’s a lot going on and a lot for me to do. By the end of the first day I was so tired, I wasn’t sure I could make 10 days. But, like most things if life, I quickly got in to a routine and got used to it all quite quickly.
It reminded me of when my son was born. It really is such a shock to the system that no one can truly prepare you for. Not sleeping and looking after a newborn was hectic but once you find a routine it’s so much easier.
The patient
My husband has had it quite good compared to some. He had fever, a bit of a cough, very congested, tight chest, short of breath, tiredness and body aches. He’s over the worse of it now though. He’s still tied and a bit congested but mostly doing well.
He’s found it very hard not being able to be with us, especially our son. My husband is a huge extrovert so being on his own hasn’t done him well mentally. He is very much looking forward to coming out of isolation.
Reflection
The other people at my husbands work haven’t done so well. 1 has the same symptoms but seem to be worse and 2 are in hospital on oxygen, 1 of which isn’t doing so well. We just pray they all make a full and speedy recovery.
It's times like this that I really miss having family around. We could rely on them to help out, not in the house in this case, but with running to the shops and dropping things off to us. Even preparing meals and dropping them off. We don't have that here. (for this who haven't read my previous blogs I'm a brit living in South Africa with my SA husband)
Overall this journey hasn’t been one that I would want anyone else to take, although we have been very lucky considering.
Back to normal
I look forward to hugging and kissing my husband. Also for him to be able to hold our son. BIL looks forward to going back to work. But most importantly… I look forward to having my bed back!!
All images are my own, Unsplash or canva
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You have an awful lot on your plate, don't know how you manage! So kudos for doing a great job and looking after everyone. You make sure you look after yourself as well !!
Thank you so much. Will need some me time soon for sure!
That's a lot on your plate, even if it is for only ten days. It's tough on littles and I'm sure on your BIL too, to have there routines change so much. I hope your husband has a speedy recovery and everyone else stays healthy!
Thank you. All back to normal soon. Luckily the baby has taken it in his stride, only thing he’s been confused by is not being able to see and touch daddy. Considering everything BIL has actually taken it all quite well too but as time goes on it does get worse for him! Not long left now though 😃
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