But explaining why breaking the vase is wrong is still a form of criticism, no matter how soft the voice. The child did wrong, and you are not HAPPY with the behavior; you are CRITICAL of it. You don't have to scream; if I say something like, "Johnny, Janie, no playing like that in the house because you might break something that is not yours; look what you did," that is still a form of criticism. No way will I ignore the fact that they broke the vase. If I disapprove of the behavior, I am CRITICAL of it.
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For sure this is a valid point of view and I can understand it