I know you might be wondering what exactly is wrong with being a perfectionist. Well, everything is. Everything is wrong with it for me. The first time I got to know I was a perfectionist was through crocheting. I knew I always wanted the best result even if it had to take me months on the same thing. I didn’t care so far as I was going to get the “prefect result” I wanted. Everything started going south when I realized it had eventually affected all other areas of my life.
In case you are still wondering how wrong it is to be perfectionist, here you go: Unlike crocheting where being a perfectionist makes me want to do better, this time, it doesn’t make me want to do any better to provide a better result. It rather makes me really anxious and once I feel anxious , exhaustion would just follow and then I would even give up on what I wanted to do. Can you imagine? I learned cooking very late, somewhere after University and yes you guessed right. I always wanted my food to be perfect anytime I cooked.
I struggled so much to learn how to cook basic things like rice because of this behavior. I would be so alert that I would just miss the basic steps. I have missed so many opportunities because of this unnecessary "Miss Perfect" attitude. There have been times, I know I qualify for something I want to apply for but the moment I feel I don’t have anything extra to make me stand out amongst others, I just drop out.
Weeks ago, I dropped out of this programme because of some silly excuse which I cooked myself, out of my perfectionism, if that’s even a word. The annoying part is that I had tried getting into that programme for over two years and finally got it and still messed it up. Anytime, I have to do something, I get so hyped and make a perfect plan for it. Right when the whole thing begins to shift a little from my perfect plan, I begin to get anxious resulting in exhaustion and then I’ll put it all behind me.
Oh it could even be that my plans would work fine and near perfect but the moment I also see okay, this is becoming perfect then here comes all the “what ifs”. What if this and what if that. I’m sure you’re wondering if I’m not the same person that wanted a perfect result? Yes it’s me, so why am I doubting the results? Well Well Well, I don’t even know how to explain anymore.
Honestly I haven’t even tried solving it because I do not know how to. The more I try being relaxed and not want a perfect result, the more stressed I become and the more I feel like whatever I’m doing is useless. If someway somehow I get the perfect results I wanted, I would still find a way to doubt the result.
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Honestly I can relate on this, but what I try to do is to focus less and just do things without minding the consequences of the out come, but somehow I still make silly mistake and worry more
Okay, I will try not focusing on the outcome and see
Good morning, it's good to be perfect if you can, but I think you need to believe in your self.
Yeah, sure
I'll advise you to loosen up and be carefree not too carefree but try to balance things up and also stop quitting.
Fighting!
Haha
Fighting!