As a child, I could not wait to grow up. It seemed like the ultimate freedom to wake up whenever I wanted, to buy anything I liked, to go anywhere without asking for permission. I used to watch adults with a kind of fascination, believing they had all the answers. They walked with confidence, carried keys, counted money, and spoke about “plans” as though they held the world in their pockets. I wanted that. I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to be in control of my own life.
Now that I am here, living the very dream I once chased, I can say with a quiet smile — adulthood is not exactly what I imagined.
It did not come in a single moment, like a grand ceremony. It arrived quietly, in small, almost invisible steps. It began with decisions little ones at first. Choosing what to eat for dinner. Paying my own phone bill. Then, before I knew it, it was choosing rent over recreation, budgeting salaries that vanished before the month ended, and realising that “freedom” comes with more responsibility than I had ever been told.
When I was younger, I saw adults as people who had everything figured out. They seemed so composed, so certain of what they wanted. But being one has taught me that no one truly has it all sorted. Most of us are simply learning as we go improvising, pretending, adjusting. Behind the calm smiles and professional clothes, there are worries, fears, and questions that no one prepared us for.
The first time I truly felt like an adult was not when I turned eighteen, or when I finished school. It was one evening when I came home from work utterly exhausted, hungry, and anxious about bills. I opened the fridge and found only a half-empty bottle of water and some bread that had gone stale. I sat down and laughed not because it was funny, but because it finally dawned on me that I was the only one responsible for myself now. There was no one else to call, no one to fix things for me. That moment, as ordinary as it sounds, felt like a quiet initiation into adulthood.
Adulthood, I’ve come to realise, is a paradox. It is the freedom to make choices, and the burden of living with them. It is having your own space, but sometimes feeling painfully lonely in it. It is having money, but never quite enough. It is independence mixed with longing for simpler times — when someone else worried about tomorrow so you could simply play.
When I was a child, I often complained about rules. “When I grow up,” I would say, “no one will tell me what to do.” And yet, as an adult, I find myself surrounded by invisible rules deadlines, responsibilities, expectations. The world demands maturity, patience, and constant performance. It’s funny how I once thought growing up meant escaping structure, only to find that it simply changes form.
Still, adulthood is not without its quiet joys. There is something deeply fulfilling about paying your own bills, however tiring it may be. There is pride in earning, in building something with your own effort, in making choices that shape your life. I have learnt to appreciate small victories managing to save a little, cooking a decent meal after a long day, keeping a promise to myself. Those are the silent celebrations that make adulthood bearable.
I have also come to see that being an adult is not just about surviving. It’s about becoming. It’s about learning who you truly are when no one is guiding you. It’s about understanding that mistakes are not failures, but lessons in disguise. I used to fear making wrong choices, but now I see that every wrong turn led me to something valuable patience, humility, resilience.
Perhaps the hardest part of adulthood is the loss of innocence. As children, we believed the world was fair. We thought kindness always brought kindness in return, that hard work always guaranteed success. Adulthood stripped away those illusions gently but firmly. Yet, even in that, there’s growth. You begin to see life as it is imperfect but beautiful, unfair but still worth trying for.
I miss many things about childhood the simplicity, the laughter, the unshakable belief that tomorrow would take care of itself. But I also recognise that the person I have become could only exist through the trials of growing up. The struggles, the confusion, the small triumphs they all carved something deeper in me.
Sometimes I think adulthood is not a destination at all, but a continuous process of unlearning and relearning. It is about balancing responsibility with curiosity, maturity with wonder. The world still surprises me not with magic as it did when I was a child, but with moments of grace that arrive quietly: a stranger’s kindness, a friend’s unexpected message, a sunset after a difficult day. Those moments remind me that even though adulthood can be heavy, it still carries light.
One of the greatest lessons adulthood has taught me is empathy. When I was younger, I couldn’t understand why my parents sometimes looked tired or why they worried about things I found boring. Now, I understand. They were not superheroes; they were simply people doing their best just as I am now. There’s something humbling about that realisation. It makes me softer toward others, and more forgiving toward myself.
Adulthood also redefined love for me. As a teenager, love was passion, excitement, endless messages. Now, it is quieter care, consistency, presence. It is doing the dishes after a long day because you know the other person is tired. It is listening without judgment, staying even when things aren’t perfect. The love I knew as a child was about feeling safe. The love I know as an adult is about creating safety for others.
And then there is time that slippery thing that adulthood seems to make vanish faster. Days blend into weeks, weeks into months. You begin to realise how precious every hour is, how easily dreams can fade if you don’t nurture them. Adulthood teaches urgency in a quiet way. It whispers, Do not wait too long. Life will not slow down for you.
If I could speak to my younger self now, I would tell her that adulthood is not a curse, but a journey. It is messy and unpredictable, but also rich with meaning. I would tell her that freedom is real, but it comes hand in hand with responsibility. I would tell her that it’s okay to not have it all figured out, that everyone is learning, even those who seem confident.
Most of all, I would tell her that growing up doesn’t mean losing the child within. It means protecting that child keeping her sense of wonder alive while learning to face life with strength. Adulthood, in its purest form, is the balance between the dreamer and the realist within us.
So, when people ask me what adulthood feels like, I say this: it feels like standing in the rain cold at first, heavy at times, but cleansing in its own strange way. It teaches you to endure, to adapt, to dance even when the weather changes. It is not what I expected, but it is where I’ve found myself still learning, still growing, still standing.
As a child, I could not wait to grow up. It seemed like the ultimate freedom to wake up whenever I wanted, to buy anything I liked, to go anywhere without asking for permission. I used to watch adults with a kind of fascination, believing they had all the answers. They walked with confidence, carried keys, counted money, and spoke about “plans” as though they held the world in their pockets. I wanted that. I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to be in control of my own life.
Now that I am here, living the very dream I once chased, I can say with a quiet smile — adulthood is not exactly what I imagined.
It did not come in a single moment, like a grand ceremony. It arrived quietly, in small, almost invisible steps. It began with decisions little ones at first. Choosing what to eat for dinner. Paying my own phone bill. Then, before I knew it, it was choosing rent over recreation, budgeting salaries that vanished before the month ended, and realising that “freedom” comes with more responsibility than I had ever been told.
When I was younger, I saw adults as people who had everything figured out. They seemed so composed, so certain of what they wanted. But being one has taught me that no one truly has it all sorted. Most of us are simply learning as we go improvising, pretending, adjusting. Behind the calm smiles and professional clothes, there are worries, fears, and questions that no one prepared us for.
The first time I truly felt like an adult was not when I turned eighteen, or when I finished school. It was one evening when I came home from work utterly exhausted, hungry, and anxious about bills. I opened the fridge and found only a half-empty bottle of water and some bread that had gone stale. I sat down and laughed not because it was funny, but because it finally dawned on me that I was the only one responsible for myself now. There was no one else to call, no one to fix things for me. That moment, as ordinary as it sounds, felt like a quiet initiation into adulthood.
Adulthood, I’ve come to realise, is a paradox. It is the freedom to make choices, and the burden of living with them. It is having your own space, but sometimes feeling painfully lonely in it. It is having money, but never quite enough. It is independence mixed with longing for simpler times — when someone else worried about tomorrow so you could simply play.
When I was a child, I often complained about rules. “When I grow up,” I would say, “no one will tell me what to do.” And yet, as an adult, I find myself surrounded by invisible rules deadlines, responsibilities, expectations. The world demands maturity, patience, and constant performance. It’s funny how I once thought growing up meant escaping structure, only to find that it simply changes form.
Still, adulthood is not without its quiet joys. There is something deeply fulfilling about paying your own bills, however tiring it may be. There is pride in earning, in building something with your own effort, in making choices that shape your life. I have learnt to appreciate small victories managing to save a little, cooking a decent meal after a long day, keeping a promise to myself. Those are the silent celebrations that make adulthood bearable.
I have also come to see that being an adult is not just about surviving. It’s about becoming. It’s about learning who you truly are when no one is guiding you. It’s about understanding that mistakes are not failures, but lessons in disguise. I used to fear making wrong choices, but now I see that every wrong turn led me to something valuable patience, humility, resilience.
Perhaps the hardest part of adulthood is the loss of innocence. As children, we believed the world was fair. We thought kindness always brought kindness in return, that hard work always guaranteed success. Adulthood stripped away those illusions gently but firmly. Yet, even in that, there’s growth. You begin to see life as it is imperfect but beautiful, unfair but still worth trying for.
I miss many things about childhood the simplicity, the laughter, the unshakable belief that tomorrow would take care of itself. But I also recognise that the person I have become could only exist through the trials of growing up. The struggles, the confusion, the small triumphs they all carved something deeper in me.
Sometimes I think adulthood is not a destination at all, but a continuous process of unlearning and relearning. It is about balancing responsibility with curiosity, maturity with wonder. The world still surprises me not with magic as it did when I was a child, but with moments of grace that arrive quietly: a stranger’s kindness, a friend’s unexpected message, a sunset after a difficult day. Those moments remind me that even though adulthood can be heavy, it still carries light.
One of the greatest lessons adulthood has taught me is empathy. When I was younger, I couldn’t understand why my parents sometimes looked tired or why they worried about things I found boring. Now, I understand. They were not superheroes; they were simply people doing their best just as I am now. There’s something humbling about that realisation. It makes me softer toward others, and more forgiving toward myself.
Adulthood also redefined love for me. As a teenager, love was passion, excitement, endless messages. Now, it is quieter care, consistency, presence. It is doing the dishes after a long day because you know the other person is tired. It is listening without judgment, staying even when things aren’t perfect. The love I knew as a child was about feeling safe. The love I know as an adult is about creating safety for others.
And then there is time that slippery thing that adulthood seems to make vanish faster. Days blend into weeks, weeks into months. You begin to realise how precious every hour is, how easily dreams can fade if you don’t nurture them. Adulthood teaches urgency in a quiet way. It whispers, Do not wait too long. Life will not slow down for you.
If I could speak to my younger self now, I would tell her that adulthood is not a curse, but a journey. It is messy and unpredictable, but also rich with meaning. I would tell her that freedom is real, but it comes hand in hand with responsibility. I would tell her that it’s okay to not have it all figured out, that everyone is learning, even those who seem confident.
Most of all, I would tell her that growing up doesn’t mean losing the child within. It means protecting that child keeping her sense of wonder alive while learning to face life with strength. Adulthood, in its purest form, is the balance between the dreamer and the realist within us.
So, when people ask me what adulthood feels like, I say this: it feels like standing in the rain cold at first, heavy at times, but cleansing in its own strange way. It teaches you to endure, to adapt, to dance even when the weather changes. It is not what I expected, but it is where I’ve found myself still learning, still growing, still standing.
Just as you've said, it was fascinating wanted to be adult to be able to enjoy the freedom we saw in adult that time. Having now been the adults we know that it not an easy task.
Just as you have said, adulthood is not really what we imagined, it a whole lot of difference. Nice write up, thanks for sharing.
Welcome