Relationships are funny in the sense that we all walk into them believing we know how everything. Most of us were raised with the idea that if you're right, you should stand your ground and defend yourself until the other person finally admits it. But the truth is, real relationships don't work that way. Two people can love each other deeply and still get into unnecessary arguments simply because both of them believe they are right. And as simple as it sounds, this stubborn desire to "win" is one of the biggest reasons couples stay angry longer than they should.
A recent experience clearly made me realize this truth about relationships. Two weeks ago, we got an invite to a marriage ceremony from a close friend of mine. That very day, my wife and I agreed that we were going to wear our new matching native outfits we sew together that we haven't used once. I took mine to the laundry service earlier that week so it would be perfectly neat and ready. By Saturday afternoon, the day of the event, I came home, picked up my clothes from the laundry service, and felt fully prepared for the outing.
But just when I thought it was time for us to get ready for the event, my wife told me she would not be wearing the native attire anymore. She had gotten a new designer gown that she suddenly preferred, and she wanted me to switch to trousers and a shirt instead. The problem wasn't that I didn't have other clothes; in fact, I did have quite a few shirts and trousers and even suits. The problem was that this was not the plan. We had agreed on something together, and I had prepared for that plan. Hearing her switch everything at the last minute did not sit well with me at all.
First, I got irritated. I reminded her that we had agreed two weeks ago to wear the same native design, and I had spent extra money on laundry services just to have my outfit look perfect. She insisted she changed her mind because the new gown looked better for the event. Little by little, the conversation turned into a disagreement, and before long, both of us were raising our voices-not because we wanted to fight, but because each of us felt justified.
Clearly, I was right in my mind. We agreed on something. I followed through on the plan. She didn’t. Yet even while I was right, the argument didn’t give me the satisfaction I expected. Instead, it felt like the more I pushed, the more tension filled the house. And honestly, it wasn’t a good feeling. So I stepped back. I cooled off and let the matter go. I changed into a nice shirt and trousers, and we went to the ceremony in good spirits, enjoyed the moment and returned home with more happiness of mind.
In a relationship, proving that you're right is not as important as keeping the peace and protecting the bond that you share. You can lose your right and still be right. What matters is choosing the option that keeps love, joy, and unity alive. Arguments can win the battle for your ego, but choosing peace wins the battle for your relationship. And indeed, peace endures longer than pride.
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