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Endearment.
Esia was growing up in an environment where no such thing as an endearment. Her parents called each other by the name of the person they feel annoyed by some traits of the character in this specific person they don't like or ridicule. The same goes for each of their children. They called each of their children by the name of someone that had the character that they think funny or less desirable. They give Esia a name from a woman that they think has some mental problem, aka retarded where she only does a thing when she is excessively encouraged. Also, when being praised for the work she has done, she will has this boosted energy and started doing other things done without even being asked. This woman name was Tergeck. Esia really hate it when they called her by this name. To her, it seems like they never appreciate all the helps or work that she had done for them. Sometimes she rebel by ignoring whatever request or help they asked her to do. One day, Esia asked her parents to stop calling her that name, and they said; "you being so sensitive, that's just a name". The thing is Esia doesn't like the reason they call her by that name. She feels like she was being bullied emotionally by her parents. Not only that they call her slut or cast a curse that she will be a useless person in the future if she rebels.
Esia parents never praised her. Whenever she achieved something great for her age such as getting a good grade in a test or doing anything that amazes others, they just give their poker face and said "you better do something more worthwhile such as reading more book." For Esia parents, praise may make us weak and easily feel satisfied with whatever we are doing. They expect their children to do something and complete them without fail and most importantly without praise.
Imagine that, fail or success no different, you get no rewards just words like "don't be too happy, work harder you could've done better" and for failure; " you didn't take thing seriously, you been just playing around, think about your future now, grow up! stop playing around!"
Whenever Esia wanted to try something new, they will say something like;" you won't make it, last time you abandoned what you have started halfway and get bored and start another new one, I think this one will be the same too, don't even bother of getting started".
Esia confused. Frustrated. The only thing that soothes her is going to her favorite place, her local library and read lot of adventure books that bring her into other world. That would make her forget for a while her own sad, helpless world. The library and the books were her eye witness to all that ever happened to her.
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This is the best tl;dr I could make, reduced by 84.78%
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i love libraries!
Hi @irisworld I love libraries and books in them. The place somehow soothes me, the energy in there make me feel like I'm home 😊