Okay, this would be more of a true story about a lady and (that lady is me π) a lady who grew up to be a very shy one and lacks confidence in almost everything while growing up.
I don't know how I grew up like that but yes, that was me while growing up. Having shame, looking downwards while walking and living like I'm in a hideout where no eyes should see how shy I was.
If shyness was a person, that'd be me in my childhood. Honestly, I was also a shy teen even almost to my adulthood. I guess I refused to own up to myself early enough, I lacked confidence for a long time.
But I'll be more than proud to say that there was something I was so confident about while being a shy kid and that is "Studying and making A's in most of my courses" I guess it was as a result of my trying to hide away, I fell in love with my books instead and found confidence in them.
Looking back now, I just smile and feel grateful for how things have changed a lot and how more social I've become. What I'm still not sure of till now, is how I overcame my lack of confidence.
How Does One Gain Confidence?
Like I said, I really don't know how, if I'm to share from my experience but I can remember very well when my dad will always tell me:
"They won't kill you if you answer the questions in class even if they are wrong"
"Hiding away what you're good at will only do you bad and nobody cares but they will cheer up for you when you show them"
"Life isn't going to make things easy for you if you don't stand up on your own to gain your grounds"
Those words didn't come out exactly like that from him but those were what he meant when he said them and I could say those were what brought the fight out in me to do away with my lack of confidence.
The first time I stood up in a class to answer a question I knew very well was a disaster, I opened my mouth but words seem to have gone past my nose instead π I felt like the ground should open up for me at that moment.
Surprisingly, the teacher and my fellow students didn't make it seem like I was shy or didn't know the answer... They encouraged me instead that I'd do better. It dawn on me then that I did made a step out of my lack of confidence.
Building Confidence
I think my confidence started to build up when I tried answering a question again in class and I did excellently well. And to crown it all, the teacher made me her favorite and also an assistant in getting her next class notes to the students. I felt important and encouraged to be more open.
You'd be shocked to know that I had only one friend I talked to during school time until I was appointed as the teacher's assistant which gave me more friends who I had to talk to with every confidence I thought I had back then.
So I'll say "Building confidence is trying out the things you find difficult to do and not just giving up at every slight mistake and coil up to your comfort zone"
Thanks to my dad, teacher and those who seemed not to take my shyness for mockery and encouraged me instead, I was able to build some confidence little by little. Yea, little and it wasn't easy for one who has been shy all her life till that point.
Staying Confident
Building confidence also requires one to stay confident and I found a way to stay that way since recently and that is writing. Somehow, writing has given some sort of power to overcome my fears and face what life has to offer even if I fail at it first.
Staying confident is not going back to being afraid of what you were once afraid of but instead building your self esteem and living life to the fullest and telling the world that you can do it.
I'll end my post with words from @iskafan in her post titled My Best Lessons From The Game Of Chess - What's Yours? where she expressed confidence in the exact way I've lived with it and how I see it now.
confidence gives us the courage to step out of our comfort zones into the impossible. Confidence builds our morals. Confidence makes us want to do more especially in the face of danger and opposition. Confidence makes us want to do the things people say shouldn't be done
This is my entry for the DCC Contest and you are invited to join also.
Thanks for reading!!!
Your Teacher knew exactly what to do, she also sets the tone of her class as well in giving you your first steps into a bigger world.
Thanks for sharing your journey @merit.ahama π€
Yeah, she did really well then
Thanks for listening
It's beautiful when a shy person becomes confident.
It's the little wins, awards and recognition you get every day over a long period of time that you are able to gain confidence.
Sometimes, it is just natural for people to transition from shy to confident.
But for all those that are shy right now reading this, keep fighting and doing what you do best to gain that confidence. There is always hope that you become the person you want to be.
Keep the faith. The best of us take a long time to transition.
Just keep believing that one day, you will be the champion you were meant to be.
This is a really beautiful comment and I feel like you're talking to me even after my own post, thanks so much π
I guess this place is best to connect and have a good conversation any time of the day. π I think this is what we are supposed to do. Be able to share information and make friends. π
π Yeah, making friends come after earning π
Make friends. Then earn. No friends no earn. π
π I guess I'll have to agree with you thinking more about it π
I used to walk with my head down all through my University days, I practically had to learn to fake it till I made it, and right now I am doing great.
You can actively build your confidence and if you aren't then fake it till you get there.
Hmm that's a really good one there, faking it till it gets real.. Thanks girl π
The first step is always the most difficult one. After that, it still isn't easy, but it becomes easier with every step you take.
Well done, @merit.ahama, we are all proud of you! Keep up the good work!
I got here via @dreemport.
Exactly! It's never easy at first and it gets easier as time goes on... I can attest to that very well
Thanks sir π
You're welcome!
We both had similar traits while growing up, sometimes I blamed my parents to have brought me up too feeble to be manly. Most times I cried while trying to speak, hahaha, until I told myself the crying was fun. π, It wasn't easy breaking off that shell, but as I grew I was determined to be confident, I knew if I wanted to be something in life, I needed to throw off that nature and embrace confidence.
@dreemport directed me here
π Your story is funny o
You cried when you tried speaking? That would have been a sight to see π
We will keep building our confidence step by step π
Lolz. You would have being happy to know you're atleast bolder than me. Anyways, that was some years ago. I can now speak boldly before a million crowd now.
That's good to know, I'm not sure if I can talk boldly in front of a crowd though.
I gained my confidence through leadership. I served in the campus and subzone level. One other thing that helped me was mingling with the opposite sex.
Hmm that's a good one, nice π
You don't seem like someone who once lacked confidence. I also once lacked confidence, but how I overcame it was by imagining others saw me the way I saw them.
Like, if I won't normally make fun of someone for doing something, why should I be afraid that I'd be made fun of, if I do it.
It didn't always work, but gradually I was able to be confident in my self step by step
I don't look like one who lacked confidence? I bet you would say a different thing if you had seen me then.... A very shy and quiet girl I was π
I like your strategy though π
We thank God for growth. I don't know if I'd have liked you if you were shy
π You mean you like me now? I'm blushing oooo π
π€«π€«πππ
Hello @merit.ahama. You dad's words of wisdom served you well. Building confidence from a young age sometimes may not be easy. I'm happy that you found your share.
Take care.
Read through @dreemport
Yeah, I'm grateful to him for shaping me into building my confidence. I'm still building though π
I to struggled with confidence when I was younger getting out of your comfort zone is indeed a big step to help oneβs confidence grow
Oh really? I would love to hear your story of you overcame it
Indeed, leaving one's comfort zone is a big step... It wasn't easy leaving it actually
First, I am proud of you for standing tall and speaking up after a while. Second, I am happy dad was there to encourage you all through. Third, I am glad that you found solace in books during your trying times. Most people who have chosen drinks and drug, so kudos to you. Fourth, thanks for promoting my post.π
π Thanks for the order of progression in your comment and finally, you're welcome for thanking me π
π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£ yeye girl ππ
πππ
Wowww, your Dad really made a loud positive impact in your life. All thanks to him (no wonder you are ur Daddy's pet π) and to your teacher back then in school for helping you in breaking out of that lack of confident State.
π Yeah, I'm not hiding the fact that I'm daddy's girl... Who else would be his girl if not me ππ₯°
My teacher then was a rare one I found, thanks to God
And thanks for stopping by π
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