I think one reason we can't 'talk' reason to some people is because they don't actually share our values. I used to think I could persuade someone that something was wrong because it was hurtful, or because it harmed people, or because it was unfair. It turns out, you can't appeal to people based on those arguments because they don't think being kind and fair are basic values. They are operating from a different value system.
If I say it is cruel to separate a mother and child, they say cruelty is OK because it's necessary. How do you argue with that? You can't argue a basic value.
If I say it's wrong to be a bully, they say it is the way of the world. It is smart to use power to our advantage. How do you argue with that? It's either right or wrong.
I can go down a whole list where I have learned that my disagreement isn't over policy, it's over basic values.
I believe in equality of the sexes. How do you argue that with someone who is quoting biblical verse about men ruling women?
I agree with your mother. She agrees with my mother. I give the same advice to my daughter and granddaughter (can't give advice to my son...he already knows everything 😆).
We can't live in an echo chamber. We have to listen to all views and try to be open minded, but not everything can be argued. Sometimes we have to just be quiet and walk away.
I'm with you there... if I have to defend the position that killing innocent people is wrong, and yet my "rival" is twisting himself/herself to justify it, then we might never get anywhere anyways.