Growing up I heard many things that were driven by culture, belief, religious influences, etc. Some were funny, some we had to follow strictly, and some were just hideous.
When we were young and couldn't decide what to follow and what not, we had to agree upon many things. But now, as a grown and responsible person, I better know which path is better.
Coming from a culture where social norms and religious values are very important to follow, it's hard to disagree with something. For example, many people still follow some superstition that I don't anymore.
There's a common saying in my culture- "We need to tolerate more to become the bigger person."
We were never taught about the context, how and when to use the idea but in every step, there would be someone, our grandma, mother, or elderly who would remind us of this. In an argument, or even in any abusive situation; we were told to tolerate more to become the bigger person.
This not only shuts the voice of the victim but also enables the abuser in some cases. I strongly disagree with tolerating something that is not right, it never makes us a better or bigger person. I never wanted to be that bigger person.
There was another one that I never found factual but something that we should end with our generation.
A daughter will bring honor to the in-law's family.
A daughter is considered the asset of in-laws, her family never owns her. She has to go to another household and bring honor to their family by tolerating and following the rules. If she wants to do her own things, doesn't shut her voice; she is considered a disgrace to the family even if the males are doing unimaginable things.
As a mother of a daughter, I strongly believe my home is my daughter's home. She can shine both of her family with her work and if she finds something wrong, she has every right to raise her voice. The same goes for me but I couldn't do many things but for the next generation, things would be different.
To be honest, the more I'm growing the better I understand the customs of the society and why some rules and norms are applied. I agree with many many things because I believe that's what makes a society strong. And most of the sayings and beliefs are for our own good.
But some are too obvious to not follow anymore, they were made up to oppress (that's what I feel), and with time some need to change to make a better society.
Society is an ever-evolving thing and with the right intention and effort we can make a positive change, that's what I believe.
I would like to invite @happy080, @iambril, and @freshness143 to join the amazing community and participate in this weekly prompt.
Thank you for reading.
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Everybody has a right to expression. Over tolerating things is bad seriously, it's better we find a lasting solution for it, Tha to use tolerance as a shadow for something of cultural diversity factor that's wrong. Civilization should take place. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece
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There should be a fine line. Usually, society teaches females all this crap and says, we have to tolerate and accept everything to make a family work.
Some sayings are not good.
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Some beliefs are right in some certain usage and not for all issues. Like the first belief, I wouldn’t agree, too because this will only lead the victim to suffer more especially when they have the chance to leave, let’s say an abusive relationship. Should they now tolerate an abuser until they die? That’s not it. Some beliefs are better said when used in the right context.
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Most old sayings and beliefs are good. But some are questionable. This one always bothered me.
I understand it's to let us teach the virtue of tolerance. But there should be a balance and given context so kids don't make mistakes and tolerate abuse.
Some of these sayings are meant to be questioned and not just accepted. We shouldn't just blindly follow things even when we know they could hurt and might have seen them hurting as well.
I agree. Most of the saying and old beliefs are good, one way or another. But some are so hideous that we must question.
That truth is being a female our voice being taken from us since from childhood that why I always thank God for my mom she never took my voice but rather encourage me to voice out, nothing is wrong for being a female child
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As a mom, I never say such things to my child now. Hopefully, they will learn the right thing.
Your mom did great.
Wow, I love this
It's true that our childhood was influenced by cultural and religious ways; many of us were brought up to obey blindly and not complain.
The statement anctually encourages negative behaviour and holds back personal development. I respect and applaud your decision to raise your kid in a different way.
When we begin to challenge long held believes and fearlessly forge a new course for the coming generation, change really starts.
Thank you for sharing @peacefulsoul