ESCAPING FROM THE MORTAL UNDERSTANDING
Yesterday I spoke in dreams with the death. she came to my night rest showing her healing virtues. I laughed with her jokes about the life and the love and her laugh when I relates her some popular beliefs of the mortal world, of our fears, superstitions and hopes. She asked me if it considered her beautiful, if her face transmitted me some type of feeling. I, sincerely, until that moment, had not thought of it and much less I had not scrutinized her face. And the truth, I could not deny it, it is that yes, yes she was very beautiful but it was a strange, pale, opaque beauty; as if instead of irradiating her beauty absorbed the surrounding one in the atmosphere. Her eyes gray and delicate semi-dizzy spells (very slight) you tinge blue they gave him a certain unreality look. Perhaps the paleness that reigned in its skin was due to the years that she has lived to the shade of the life, and the darkness of its rooms
ESCAPANDO DE LA COMPRENSION MORTAL
Ayer hablé en sueños con la muerte. Vino a mi descanso nocturno mostrando sus virtudes curativas. Me reí con sus chistes acerca de la vida y el amor y ella río cuando le relate algunas creencias populares del mundo mortal, de nuestros miedos, supersticiones y esperanzas. Me preguntó si le consideraba hermosa, si su rostro me transmitía algún tipo de sentimiento. Yo sinceramente, hasta ese momento, no había pensado en ello y mucho menos había escrutado su faz. Y la verdad, no podía negarlo, es que sí, sí era muy bonita, pero era una belleza extraña, pálida, opaca; como si en vez de irradiar su beldad absorbiera la circundante en el ambiente. Sus ojos semi-vahídos, de grises y tenues (muy ligeros) matices azules le daban un cierto aire de irrealidad. Quizá la palidez que reinaban en su piel se debía a los años que ha vivido a la sombra de la vida, e la oscuridad de sus aposentos
Finally I responded him with sincerity, I was not very sure but I could say that yes, yes she was pretty. She looked at me with strangeness. "What answer class is that? " sadly exclaimed
Al fin le respondí con sinceridad, no me encontraba muy seguro, pero podría decir que sí, si era linda. Ella me miró con extrañeza. “¿Qué clase de respuesta es esa?” exclamó compungida
I requested her that didn't misinterpret my words, her beauty was arcane and rancid, very sublime and attractive. "For those same reasons - I explained - people the whole time comes to you. It is useless their initial resistance because to the final they always arrive in you search. In certain form your figure is maternal, it is at the same time the print of a mourning Madonna, young, beautiful and sad widow's mixture that one knows faithful to its husband and its moral principles (and for that reason it lacks remorse, without more pain than the death of its "LOVE") and of an ancestral virgin whose hymen remains vigilant and immortal that (already old and without forces for the romance the passion and the lust) she combs her white hair, dressing up her snowy head, every day and at all times; wrapped in the monotony of their silver threads."
Le pedí que no malinterpretara mis palabras, su belleza era arcana y rancia, muy sublime y atrayente. “Por esas mismas razones – expliqué – la gente viene a ti todo el tiempo. Es inútil su resistencia inicial porque a la final siempre llegan en tú búsqueda. En cierta forma tu figura es materna, es la estampa de una Madonna enlutecida, una mezcla de viuda joven, hermosa y triste a la vez, que se sabe fiel a su esposo y sus principios morales (y por eso carece de remordimientos, sin más pena que la muerte de su “AMOR”) y de una virgen ancestral, cuyo himen permanece vigilante e imperecedero, que (ya vieja y sin fuerzas para el romance la pasión y la lujuria) peina sus blancos cabellos, acicalando su nevada cabeza, todos los días y a toda hora; envuelta en la monotonía de sus hilos de plata”
What did she reflect but that? That young and lusty, soft, morbid aspect, lacking sensuality and full with a dark and ghastly fondness that at times showed me the virtues to cure the soul of the fatalists as me. That lack of wrinkles, their perfect teeth, the marble-like neck that which majestic pedestal of an old divinity, supported its refined skull. Could those weak eye bath maybe destroys their beauty? No, never, no way. On the contrary: it enhanced that terrible contrast of her impassibility before the life and the suffering image that escaped, as fugitive proclaimed of a truth that didn't exist, for the pores of their whitish skin. The only physical sign of its ancient was the gray hair originate of its immaculate front and spread by all its being, covering its back, the waist, its buttock; until to reach or to profane the most attractive thighs and never sign seen by my eyes. Although it was not a sexual attraction the one that exercised her legs, neither anything resemblance, but the attraction of an archaic and innocent girl that show her petals of sweet recently flourished orchid. The fragrance of the gods, the forbidden corners to the human's look. Without idylls, loveless, doesn't exist the senseless lover that challenged the laws of the game. Nobody takes a risk with their aces since there are not competitors but a lubricious mirror that deforms their prodigious figure. The beauty dies in the reflection and the fright is born with tumult. The life calls to its players and makes them see for the window of the reality. The death can wait. And if those languid legs don't excite their spirits it is because they were not prepared to love the death
¿Qué reflejaba ella sino eso? Aquel aspecto joven y lozano, suave, mórbido, desprovisto de sensualidad y lleno de una ternura oscura y fantasmal que a ratos me mostraba las virtudes para curar el alma de los fatalistas como yo. Esa carencia de arrugas, sus perfectos dientes, el cuello marmóreo que, cual majestuoso pedestal de una divinidad antigua, soportaba su pulido cráneo. ¿Acaso esas débiles ojeras podrían destruir su hermosura? No, jamás, de ninguna manera. Al contrario: realzaba aquel terrible contraste de su impasibilidad ante la vida y la sufrida imagen que se escapaba, como prófugas pregoneras de una verdad que no existía, por los poros de su blanquecina piel. El único signo físico de su ancianidad era la gris cabellera naciente de su inmaculada frente y esparcidas por todo su ser, cubriendo su espalda, la cintura, sus glúteos; hasta alcanzar o profanar los muslos más atractivos y firmes jamás vistos por mis ojos. Aunque no fue una atracción sexual la que ejercieron sus piernas, ni nada parecido, sino la atracción de una niña arcaica e inocente que ostenta sus pétalos de dulce orquídea recién florecida. La fragancia de los dioses, los rincones prohibidos a la mirada del mortal. Sin idilios, sin amor, no existe el amante insensato que desafié las leyes del juego. Nadie arriesga sus ases puesto que no hay contrincantes sino un lúbrico espejo que deforma su portentosa figura. La belleza muere en el reflejo y el espanto nace con tumulto. La vida llama a sus jugadores y les hace ver por la ventana de la realidad. La muerte puede esperar. Y si esas lánguidas piernas no excitan sus espíritus es porque no estaban preparados para amar la muerte
Perhaps she needed a lover that arrives until her heart and of life to the non born remorse that teaches her all the anguish that she ignores. Because if it has not felt her heart to be oppressed against the chest and it has not poured stormy tears of a wounded ego, then she has not known the grief and the restlessness. And what is that but what the love grants us? jump, jump from the heights of your mortal understanding and see what is to suffer without sufferings; she (the death) it suffers of the lack of love and remorse, and however suffering doesn't touches her, it passes of long, accomplice of that to suffer insensitive and imperceptible. "You affirm that people always come in my search, nevertheless most comes to trails; forced for other or for adverse circumstances to their life" she manifested looking at me directly to the eyes with all tranquility that characterizes her. "That, my lover and beautiful friend happens for ignorance. Those that doesn't know you fears of you and for it so they escape to your encounter, most is young beings that didn't live enough to understand each other; on the other hand, those that are able to live many years if they arrive to your understanding and they wait for you warm and soft hug, they make it happy and full with hope. Those that go to you guided by a will unwanted arrive at your rooms amid the desperation, they receive your terrified hug, not of you but of themselves, of the life. The suicide is no longer a tender mother hug but the suffocating pincers of the executioner of a conscience full with blame" I enunciated
Tal vez ella necesitaba un enamorado que llegue hasta su corazón y de vida a los remordimientos no nacidos, que le enseñe toda la angustia que ella desconoce. Porque si no ha sentido su corazón oprimirse contra el pecho y no ha vertido tormentosas lágrimas de un ego herido, entonces no ha conocido la desazón y la inquietud. ¿Y qué es eso sino lo que el amor nos otorga? Brinca, salta, desde las alturas de tu comprensión mortal y ve lo que es sufrir sin sufrimientos; ella (la muerte) sufre de la carencia de amor y remordimientos, y sin embargo el padecer no le toca, pasa de largo, cómplice de ese sufrir insensible e imperceptible. “Tú afirmas que la gente siempre viene en mi búsqueda, no obstante, la mayoría viene a rastras; obligadas por otros o por circunstancias adversas a su vida” manifestó mirándome directamente a los ojos con toda tranquilidad que le caracteriza. “Eso, mi querido y hermosa amiga ocurre por ignorancia. Aquel que no te conoce teme de ti y por lo tan huye a tu encuentro, la mayoría son seres jóvenes que no vivieron lo suficiente para entenderte; en cambio aquellos que logran vivir muchos años si llegan a tu comprensión y esperan por tú cálido y suave abrazo, lo hace felices y llenos de esperanza. Aquellos que van a ti guiados por una voluntad indeseada llegan a tus aposentos en medio de la desesperación, ellos reciben tu abrazo aterrorizados, no de ti sino de ellos mismos, de la vida. El suicidio ya no es un tierno abrazo de madre sino las asfixiantes tenazas del verdugo de una conciencia llena de culpa” enuncié
"You have responded well, now tell me: Do you love me? " she asked.
"I don't know it. I believe that rather I respect you" I answered
“Has respondido bien, ahora dime: ¿Tú me amas?” preguntó. “No lo sé. Creo que más bien te respeto” contesté
She smiled saying happily that she imagined it. Then, possessed of a blind impulse I stole of the unaffected nectar of their lips. It was a kiss of intense flavor saline, bitter and bloody fluids it stimulated my spirit beyond the conscience that keeps and it hides my body. Eroticism didn't exist in the union, that (besides frustrating) I waited for it with insane longings. And again it caressed the smile in her face, making accompany of the malice and the shame. It confirmed me the silly thing that I am and looking at me with it sadness, she told me that she would be waiting my arrival to her rooms with the arms opened up in an expression of happiness. New knots of friendship will revoke the sadness of my eyes. tell me that was hour of waking up me and of to her disappear. The dawn is not for her and it is still for me. "Good-bye, respectable thief of kisses" she said goodbye. "I will watch over your dream from the far beyond (that is not as distant as you think) but don't cry more because then I will think that you never loved, neither to me neither the life. she smiles instead of sobbing, demonstrate me that this moment was not only a dream."
Ella sonrió alegremente diciendo que lo imaginaba. Entonces, poseído de un impulso ciego robé del inalterado néctar de sus labios. Fue un beso de intenso sabor salino, amargos y sangrientos fluidos estimularon mi espíritu más allá de la consciencia que guarda y esconde mi cuerpo. No existió erotismo en la unión, eso (además de frustrante) lo esperaba con insanas ansias. Y de nuevo acarició la sonrisa en su rostro, haciéndose acompañar de la malicia y la vergüenza. Me confirmó lo tonto que soy y mirándome con lastima, me dijo que estaría esperando mi llegada a sus aposentos con los brazos abiertos en una expresión de alegría. Nuevos lazos de amistad revocarán la tristeza de mis ojos. Me anunció que era hora de despertar yo y de ella desaparecer. El amanecer no es para ella y aún lo es para mí. “Adiós, respetable ladrón de besos” se despidió. “Vigilaré tu sueño desde el más allá (que no es tan lejano como tú piensas) pero no llores más porque entonces pensaré que nunca amaste, ni a mí ni a la vida. Sonríe en vez de sollozar, demuéstrame que este momento no fue sólo un sueño”
"By the way: you don't think that you are the only one that has kissed me she said smiling before leaving
“Por cierto: no creas que eres el único que me ha besado dijo sonriente antes de irse
Orlando Cordero
Original Photo edited by me.
Model: Adriana.
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