THINK LIKE A MONK: TRAIN YOUR MIND FOR PEACE AND PURPOSE EVERY DAY
What's up, bookworms!
In today's blog, we're going to learn how to become a monk. Just kidding! 😅 I will be sharing another book review with you. My last book review was about Tips to overcome rejection, rumination, and low self-esteem which were my takeaways from Guy Winch's Emotional First Aid. It will be another non-fiction book for this book review and it's entitled, Think Like a Monk. The author is Jay Shetty.
Jay Shetty became quite popular on Facebook a few years back. He went to become a monk but later found out that his calling was not to spend his life in an ashram or monastery but to bring its teachings to the outside world. He had a lot of these inspirational videos and honestly, I didn't pay much attention to them because I wasn't 'into' the self-help world as I am today.
Fast forward, I listen frequently to a podcast called The Mindset Mentor and Jay Shetty was a guest in one of the episodes. He talked about his book and its promise of how to train your mind for peace and purpose every day and that got me intrigued.
I added his book to my reading list and downloaded a copy of it on my phone. The book was an easy read maybe because I'd already finished reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. You'll know more about my thoughts on The Power of Now in my book review of it.
Despite being an easy read, there were a lot of things to unpack from Think Like a Monk. One of my favorite lines from the book is below:
"When you try to live your most authentic life, some of your relationships will be put in jeopardy. Losing them is a risk worth bearing; finding a way to keep them in your life is a challenge worth taking on."
There are times when I think that the people in my life are keeping me from living the kind of life I want to live. But there are also times when I am fueled by the fire of doing and giving my best to the people in my life so that I can keep them.
But I know that there must come a time that I have to let go if I want peace and freedom in my life. This was what Part 1 of the book was about: Let Go. The book is divided into three parts The second part was Grow and the third part, Give. I will share with you my takeaways from the book which I think will be really helpful in trying to achieve a more peaceful life.
BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF
The first chapter of the book is about identity. In today's world, we are inundated with distractions and as adults, we face countless obligations. In order to live a peaceful life, we must know who we are amidst all the distractions, the inputs of the outside world, and the people in our lives.
In the ashram, one of the things the author was taught was about the clearance of the impure mirror of the mind. He was told a story of a mirror in a dusty room in which we can only see ourselves if we wipe the dust off the mirror.
“Your identity is a mirror covered with dust. When you first look in the mirror, the truth of who you are and what you value is obscured. Clearing it may not be pleasant, but only when that dust is gone can you see your true reflection.”
Clearing the dust from the mirror is a metaphor for clearing the distractions in our life. This can mean intentionally being away from social media, taking some time away from the people in our lives, and most importantly, being alone and free from outside influences. Only then can we start to see the truth of who we really are and the things that are driving us---our values--which leads us to my next takeaway.
VALUE-BASED DECISIONS
Our values drive all our behavior whether we are aware of them or not. Our values are developed from the environments where we go grew up, the people we spend time with, the things we've done, and even the media we consume. The book talks about auditing our lives to evaluate what are the values that we actually uphold. Auditing our lives can include auditing our time, auditing the media we consume, auditing where we spend our money, and auditing the people we spend our time with.
What are the things we do with most of our time?
Those are the things we value.
What are the types of content we see and engaged with on our devices?
Those are the things we value.
What are the things we spend most of our money on?
Those are the things we value.
Who are the people we spent most of our time with?
Their values are the same as ours.
"If you know your values, you have directions that point you toward the people and actions and habits that are best for you... Values make it easier for you to surround yourself with the right people, make tough career choices, use your time more wisely, and focus your attention where it matters. Without them we are swept away by distractions."
The important question now is whether you are in agreement with the values that you are upholding. If not, then with each decision that you make, you have to pause, think, and ask:
What is the value behind this choice?
We might say to ourselves that we want to let go of our greed, envy, anger, lust, ego, and other unhelpful values but our attachment to those values and the things that come with them can be too strong that it's difficult to just 'choose the right thing.' This leads us to my next takeaway which is Detachmment.
DETACHMENT
I talk extensively about detachment in my previous posts. I made a separate post about Detachment and Self-Distancing as the keys to achieving peace.
Detachment is not really about letting go of material possessions. It's so much more than that. Detachment is the realization that nothing in this world is permanent. Everything will pass or will be taken away eventually.
Detachment can be applied to possessions, people, and even emotions. Attachment can bring pain especially when we hold on too much to our possessions because the moment we start to feel that we're losing some of our possessions or they're no longer enough, we panic and fill our minds with thoughts of doing more and getting more. Our money, gadgets, properties, and assets will all be gone eventually or move on to their next owners. Once we stop resisting that idea, we free our minds from their hold and we can better see what's really important in our lives.
"Attachment brings pain... Only by detaching can we truly gain control of the mind."
The people in our lives will also come and go. It's dreadful to think that our loved ones will eventually leave us. Or it's tempting to imagine the people who we don't want in our lives just disappear. Detachment is about accepting the fact that people will come and go, and from that place of acceptance, we decide to stay with the person until he or she leaves or we can choose to leave them right now because we have to.
Lastly, we can say the same about our feelings and emotions not being permanent. They move through us which means we don't have to hold on to them. When we detach from our feelings and emotions, we calm ourselves down. Again, nothing is permanent, any feeling or event will eventually become a memory or a past experience. We can then better attune our reactions based on our values and the things important to us.
Detachment is the gateway to gratitude because we become more grateful for the things we have right now and that we know we'll eventually lose. Gratitude is my next takeaway from the book.
GRATITUDE (SALT IN THE LAKE)
David Steindl-Rast said that gratitude is the feeling of appreciation that comes when you recognize that something is valuable to you, which has nothing to do with its monetary worth.
I think it makes so much sense that a peaceful life is a life of gratitude. When we appreciate the good things that come to us, we train our minds to focus on contentment, abundance, and generosity.
The book shares some daily gratitude exercises such as keeping a gratitude journal, morning gratitude prayers, and gratitude meditation. There have been studies showing the positive effects of practicing gratitude. It helps with relieving stress from painful experiences and improving health.
A greater sense of gratitude can be achieved by widening our perspective. The book shares the story of the salt in the glass and in the lake. There was an old woman who invited a young man to come by the lake. The man was suffering from so much pain in his life while everyone else seemed to be living good lives. The old woman had a bowl of salt and a glass of water. He told the man to take a handful of salt and put it in the glass to be dissolved in the water. The woman told the man to take a sip from the glass but he declined knowing it would be terribly salty. The woman asked the man to pour the contents of the glass into the lake. She then asked the man to take a sip from the lake and he found the water to be quite refreshing.
"Don’t be the glass. Become the lake."
Pouring the extremely salty water into the lake is like widening our perspective of the world and seeing that we don't have it so bad after all. Our pain is not invalidated but minimized and that is good reason alone to be grateful for what we have.
A peaceful life is genuine life. It is a life with values aligned with what we really want. It is a life grounded on the truth that nothing in this world is permanent and that freedom can be achieved through detachment. A peaceful life is a grateful life in light of a broad view of the world.
That's it! I know I sound a bit preachy and "monk-y" with all these teachings but I believe in them. We pick up the truths that resonate with us and these were the takeaways that I gathered from reading the book. I hope some of the words above stirred something inside of you. If you are interested in these things, please grab a copy of this book and read it.
My next book review will still be about a non-fiction book. My takeaways will be about denouncing our overused excuses for why we don't succeed in life. Exciting, right? So see you in that next post. Cheers!
Illustrations were created using Canva and all quotes were taken from the book.
Reading this takes me back to the day when Jaya randomly asked me: Ms. Pat, why are you so peaceful? Her question caught me by surprise; I didn't know I was living so peacefully until she pointed it out. Those were the days my anxiety skyrocketed and there she was telling me: You're living such a peaceful life. What an irony! But I guess what she meant was why I was okay living as if I were alone, as if everyone and everything else didn't matter.
Both Takeaway #1: Being True to Yourself and Takeaway #2: Value-based decisions led me to Takeaway #3: Detachment. I've learned never to turn away from the things, beliefs, and values that make up who I am and who I want to become. It's truly a difficult and bloody process, but once things are in place, one will realize that achieving a peaceful life doesn't require magic. If we could only look within and realize that we've been given all that's required to live with genuine bliss (Takeaway #4: Gratitude), we could reach the coveted peaceful state easier.
I ended up telling her that I don't need everything and everyone to stay with me, believe in me, and care for me. I just need those who matter to stick around. As for the rest, what they say and they do, don't matter.
Knowing who we are and what's really important to us are vital to keeping peace in our lives. Funny enough, peace doesn't even have to depend on our emotional levels. We can experience the most difficult times (e.g. high anxiety levels) and still find peace inside us.
Also, I'm here to stick around, Twin. 😉
I become curious of this book...i might just gonna listen to the audio since it's the free one I guess 😅..
Thanks