The Four Agreements is a book that focuses on having clarity, peace, emotional freedom, and the practices required for these to come to pass. The book is quite old, but not as old as The Richest Man in Babylon. The Four Agreements was published in 1997, but its language remains simple and effective in conveying its message to readers.
For this book review, we will focus on a quote that has stuck with me, as it has now become my model for book reviews. I start off with striking quotes that stuck with me in understanding what the book has taught me. In this book, the quote is:
Don't take anything personally.
Honestly, I think we are now living in a world where people have become quick to respond to every comment, word, or expression directed towards them, or worse, it may not even be. I feel this is the true origin of a lot of hate speech on social media. Everybody lives with a mindset that I have something to say, so you must listen to me. I must say this, or I have to say that, without even thinking for a moment about how relevant what I am about to say is.
This mindset has increased the noise out there and driven the true people who have something to say, since everywhere is noise, whatever they may have said gets lost in the noise. The saying Do not take anything personally from the author Ruiz is the second agreement of the book from the four agreements the book is based off. It was a bit difficult for me to swallow when I came across it at first. This is because I thought the author was suggesting I should let everything slide.
Well, through further reading, it is not about taking insults whenever they are thrown at you, but it is more about understanding that what people have to say about you is only a reflection of their issues, sensitivity, and insecurity, and has nothing to do with you. It is more like what a friend shared with me recently, when he told me, it is not you who is the naive one or a fool for choosing to apologize while the other person refuses to. It is only a reflection of the person's immaturity and not yours.
Frankly speaking, the world is filled with people who live for the sole purpose of displeasing others; that is why you can see they are quick to start a fight, use provocative words, and above all, become consumed with their notion that they always have something to say even when it was not requested.
Furthermore, the most important concept of the Ruiz point in describing his Do not take anything personally quote is that we become receptive towards other people's thoughts and their insecurity when we always respond to what they say personally. But when we choose not to and how to respond, probably by letting them run loose, it only shows their insecurity and immaturity. For me, it is more of letting them talk and say what they choose. Let the dogs bark; you can not stop a dog from barking.
Building restraint from responding to things personally is a true form of freedom, and the more you exhibit it, the better you become at it. The world is sensitive now, so choose how you respond to it.
I am @samostically, a chess player and writer. I love to share the experience I have gained from different battles over the 64 squares and the knowledgeable insights from books I have read. But most importantly, I am a Midnight Owl and I founded the community Midnight Letters.
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It pays to be unbothered most of the time. It helps us to live in peace with people.
I stopped feeling any resentment toward them once I realized their behavior has nothing to do with me, it’s just a reflection of their own pain, experiences, insecurities, and everything they’re carrying inside. I’m not the problem.
So I just avoid them or stay quiet around them. Because no matter how unbothered you think you are, some things they say can still hurt you, and it'll take real confidence to brush it off:)
Haven't heard of this book before, I will add it to my library.
Best regards ✨
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Thank you ☺️
Exactly, this is why i understand the author. At first, i was in a state of confusion but not anymore. Thanks for stopping by.
It's exactly as you describe it. At first, it's shocking, because it seems like they're telling you to be passive or let people disrespect you. But you get it when you understand the true meaning: that what others say or do is a projection of their own reality, of their “movie,” and it almost never has anything to do with you. Understanding that frees you from a huge burden. Your reflection on how this applies to social media is spot on. Nowadays, it seems like everyone is on the defensive. This agreement is the perfect antidote to all that noise and negativity.
In short, a much-needed reflection. This book is one of those that you have to reread from time to time so that we don't forget these simple but powerful truths. Thank you for sharing your point of view.
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Thank you! It's temporary, Just need to sort a lot of things now. Thanks for stopping by and for appreciating my work.
Wow
This is really impactful, I must say
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STOPI have read this book more than 4 times and everytime I read it, it changed my perspective to see the things...
This is a wonderful review. We have more peace when we ignore certain things by not responding. It takes a lot of restraint to achieve this, but we can train ourselves on not responding to everything thing heard. Being unbothered can save us lots of energy 😌
I have gained this ability restraining from responding to things from childhood and it's not that what I was taught, when issues turns out most times, I'm happy of that gift. I rarely have issues with people, I can live with anyone, I also want my Peace always and everywhere.
Update: @samostically, I paid out 2.241 HIVE and 0.228 HBD to reward 4 comments in this discussion thread.