A true story:
A colleague recently showed me his card on a dating site. While browsing, I saw the familiar faces of many women who were on the site years ago. The profiles were active (pictures with corona masks and updates with dates), which proved that many of those women are still in the search (and I guess the same is true for the rest, men for example).
The colleague told me he was looking for love. "I want to find someone I can love, feel love for, and receive at least as much love from, which is normal, isn't it? Otherwise, what's the point of a relationship?"
I told him that the block, the thing that keeps him and many others from finding a relationship and love is just that. The thought or desire that they can truly love someone else. Someone outside of them, someone other than them.
It reminded me of a big disappointment I once caused someone. I told her that I was with her by choice, that I choose to be with her every day, that I did not need her (admittedly, I could refine my wording). She looked at me in amazement mixed with anger and said she wants to be with someone who needs her and as much as she loves me, we can not stay together.
The pattern of old relationships is dying out, making its last breaths only thanks to the connection to the Akmo machine of the mass consciousness. In old relationships people sought to love and be loved but the only love a person can be in is the love for himself/herself.
New relationships on the other hand, are based on personal sovereignty, inner fullness, an ongoing pattern of love for the self that eliminates the need to receive love from the other, from the spouse. In such a relationship there is authentic and free sharing (because there is no fear of loss), there is a real appreciation for the developmental place where the other is, there is an awareness to what extent they love themselves, there is a release from the addiction to the need to be in a relationship. In such a relationship, staying with another soul is not from a place of love but of sensuality (=the ability to sense, not to be confused with sex). In such a relationship there is no feeding, there is no need for the spouse to appreciate us, love us, give us, because fullness comes from within us. Because we love ourselves.
I asked him if he liked himself. And he replied that probably not because he still has the need to love and be loved.
"Maybe now, at least, you understand why you're stuck in the search," the therapist in me was speaking.
It sounds very difficult, to be in a consciousness where you don't have to love and get love back, doesn't it?", He argued.
I sought to respond with words that would not discourage him.
"You do not have to be enlightened to be in a very good relationship. But for you, in your path of spiritual development, this new place where you love yourself unconditionally, is indeed a significant leap in your growth. This may be the last obstacle of the master on the path to their enlightenment. You will know how consciousness and energy are woven and intertwined, thanks to which your reality will change, thanks to which you will be free."
He looked at me sadly. "You know what, I do not feel like going to work today. I will stay home without doing anything."
"You see," I smiled at him, "you do love yourself!."
לימדו להיות מאסטרים של תודעה
באמצעות מערכות היחסים, החלומות והאנרגיה המינית שלכם
Fullness comes from within.
I've come to realize, the more you seek to be loved, the more you don't find it.
As important as it is, self-love does need a lot of encouragement from others and courage from within oneself to practice, to maintain and to thrive in love.
It's surely not an easy practise.
Fur example, one wakes up in they morning and doesn't want to go to work. One wants to stay in bed and watch Netflix. Will one love themselves enough to do that?
I wonder. 🤔
Haha, good question and I think we all wonder the same at some point.
It depends if one can still afford to pay Netflix next month (and of course a lot other things one wants to have) without going to work. Maybe one is self-employed so why not just watch Netflix now and work later. If not, delayed gratification may be a better choice of self-love, watch it later after work 😁
Sometimes I have to remind myself & others not to confuse self-love with self indulgence and neglecting responsibility & forgetting self-discipline. Keeping a balance is important.
It's a good point.
Yet, I challenge anyone to stay in bed as an act of self love and see what will happen. Either they will be promoted or fired and find a better job.😎
Important thing have been written! I had a conversation with one of my best friend about this topic (self love and relationship) her thoughts has opened my eyes, and i have to agree; without self love you can not find true love, well if you love yourself you won’t seek, it will banging the door by itself, you ‘ll just to have let it in. :)
E x a c t l y !
a friend of mine said the other day: "oh, self love, it's easy. you just have to do for yourself what you do for somebody else when you love them".
thinking about my own journey of learning to love myself unconditionally, it's almost comical to apply my friend's logic. because when i look at just how far i am willing to go for someone i truly love, to what lengths, to what insane mental contortions, my mind boggles, and i know for sure that most people would consider me crazy.
we can find ourselves acting the fool in love and eating a heap of shit. and it's sometimes not an enjoyable part of the cycle. then comes the processing time, during which the shit turns into fertilizer, and finally we bud, we grow, we bloom.
we open.
I love your post.",
Christian fate says "Love your neighbor as yourself".
Self love is loving ourselves at least as we love our neighbor.
You cannot love others if you don't love yourself... the old but gold!
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