Thanks so much @trucklife-family for this question, it bring it make me recall who I used to be.
You'll know the essence of peace when you lack peace for just a minute, even just a second. And it's when you have peace you'll feel alive and you'll know the importance of being alive
To feel alive, you must experienced a situation where you find it hard to breathe, you must have an unease or have uneasy feeling and when you are finally out of it, you'll feel alive.
Too feel alive, You must have been fainted or in a coma condition for a period of time but you finally come up back to life.
To feel alive, you must have good feelings, good health condition, free from problems and difficulties.
My Story
I have a very flexible heart, I pity people, I prefer to be hurt that you being hurt, I trust easily, I fall in love so quickly but you'll never see it in KY face, I know how to hide my feelings. I thought something was wrong with me but I later realise that it's just my nature, that's how I'm made by my creator and I find it hard to change myself. Like I always do, I fell in love with her but it's so much different this time, it was like illusion, I fell something was wrong with me but I couldn't even help myself and you know that nobody can ever help you out of such situations. It was so much obvious in my face this time.
All about me changed, I was in another realm. Someone once told me that when you are dead, you'll be in another realm where you won't be able to bring yourself back, so as I fell in love, I don't know if I'm still alive or dead, the only thing that makes me know that I'm alive is that I still see the same thing I always see, the only thing that changed in me is my attitude, I became more soft than before, it was obvious that I'm not who I used to be, I used to be strong, act like I'm not moved. She always come in my dream, just like an illusion.
I was just 17 then, as it (love) wrong with me, I felt I'm in another realm because I've been doing what I don't even know that I can ever do, I was ready to die for someone that I don't even know deeply, all I know about her then was that her path way is near where I used to spend weekends then (My parent place), so she don't even know me at all but after some months, I was almost 18, then I summon my courage and decided to talk to her and explain how I've been feeling for months and how much I love her and really need her to be with her and that was when I felt that I'm awake, I felt alive. It took her months before she tell she love me too but I waited for her because I understand that she need to read me, know who I am, know if she can be with me, if I can be love and If I really love her.
I thought my past attitude is the best, I wear guard so love won't find me, that's why I act if I don't care, but I don't know how love find. But love open up my world, love open up my eyes to many things, love brought me up to life, love thought me so many things, when I fell in love was when I feel most alive
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