First, I congratulate you for writing this down. I know, it's never easy to write what we feel, especially our personal feelings which may not want everyone to know.
Losing a father is never easy, especially for daughters, who I think will be closer to their father than their mother.
I lost my father a few years ago. Losing was like God's way of showing me new things I had to go through but it was good to form my independence, without my father.
I know what it feels like to be ignored. But I ask you not to hate your mother, because just imagine, mothers have to fight harder for their children so that all can survive without a father.
Keep writing.
Thank you so much for the kind words and yes I am way past hating those who have hurt me. Especially my mom I love her so much and nothing could change that