Hi, my name is Zia. I have a long time boyfriend named Kiel. They say, we're match made from heaven. We are so perfect for each other and we shared the same passion, favorites and likes. Perfect, indeed!
He's a green flag in a relationship, he's always been this standard and ideal, he's an academic achiever, family oriented, and charismatic. Everything that an ideal man has, name it! He's always been a loving boyfriend to me.
We're studying in the same university and pursued the same field. We had always been dreaming of becoming a doctor in the future. Despite the very hectic schedule, we always make time for us. We are always there for each other through up's and down's. He was there when I broke down multiple times, he was there when I nearly shift course because med school is really exhausting, he's been my strength and became my support system.
“ Love, I love you so much ”, I can hear those words from him out of nowhere, his voice is soothing and gentle. Every time I hear those words, I ended up blushing. One thing I know is that, our love felt like no other, it was selcouth.
After we graduated college we took the board exam together, with determination and with the heart of a dreamer, and gladly we passed! We completed our internship and soon enough our residency, we even applied for work together and we are now working on our dream hospital!
I am so happy because finally! We are now living our dreams together!
—
Now, it's our 7 years anniversary. I'm planning to surprise him by preparing a dinner date. I make sure that everything is well prepared before going to the terrace and wait for him. I looked up at the sky and noticed that the moon is bright tonight and it is full of starts.
I was shocked to notice the tears that were streaming down my cheeks, and was shocked to feel the pain I am feeling out of nowhere.
I wiped the tears from my cheeks and smiled bitterly, I looked at the dinner I prepared for him. And the tears that I was trying to stop from falling, finally fall down into my cheeks— as if it was waiting to go out from my eyes.
I fell down into my knees, realizing that he will never come.
Kiel go away, with my heart with him. He left me, with his memories.
He died.
He died 1 year ago, and I can't accept it that's why I always think that he's still here. That, we're still together.
During our college years, we discovered that he has cancer, he stopped college because he's in the hospital bed. When I graduated, he died. It was also our anniversary, and it was just so painful that on the same day of our anniversary, it was also the same day he died.
I screamed my heart out and felt the excruciating pain slowly dominating my whole system, until I felt nothing. He told me he love me and I can't still accept that he left me!
I wanted to be mad at him, but I can't... How can I hate him?
It hurts. So much.
Maybe it's time to accept the fact that he's really gone, that he's not coming back anymore.
I sobbed reminiscing about our relationship, when he was still alive.
It was so perfect! Just like I've always dreamed about. We planned to get married after we got our dream work, and dream company and it is just so painful that I am the only one who got our dreams.
We even planned to have a children in the future, he even told me how happy he will be once he entered fatherhood and it hurts so bad!
By now, maybe we already had kids, maybe we already got married, maybe we're now having troubles how to put our kids to sleep. Just maybe, if he was still here.
I missed him so much, his hugs, his kisses, his gentle voice, I missed everything about him!
He's the only one who could wipe and kiss the tears in my eyes, he's the only one who could dance with my demons, who could tame my waves.
How could he do that now then? When he's not... here?
I took a deep breathe, maybe it's time to let go of him now. Maybe it's time to move forward, without him.
“ Love, I'm sorry. I have to let you go now. ” I whispered, my lips quivered as I feel the excruciating pain. It's so hard splitting those words, it left a bitter taste on my tongue. How will I let go of him?
I look at the stars, with a heart so heavy. He's one of them now. My Kiel is one of the stars now.
I wiped my tears and took a deep breath but the tears didn't stop from falling. I miss him so much and it pained me! D*mn!
“ Kiel, maybe somewhere out there, on a planet exactly like ours, or in any dimensions of reality, there are two people exactly like you and me and that, somewhere, we're still together. Maybe in another life, we would meet again. Maybe in another life, the universe will allow us to be together— longer. ”, with a teary eyes and heavy heart, I finally said those words, I finally started to step back from his memories, from him.
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Noooo, it's like a story out in a movie. This is sad, moving on will be hard especially you two was together for so many years while reaching each others dream. Yong akala mo happy ending, pero hindi pala ಥ_ಥ. So heartbreaking (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)
Indeed! Yet it's reality, a painful one (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩_-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)
Anw, thank you so much for reading!! Have a great day ahead 🫶🫶🫶