It takes time to heal and never quit finding the healing that you need. I had that feeling for the enrity of last year. A feeling that as if everything I would do falls apart.
I feel what you're feeling right now. I'm an eldest too and perhaps a breadwinner. We wanted to pursue self-discovery and build the passion that will eventually make money comes in, but we can't turn a blind eye of the responsibilities in our shoulder. Just an advice, take easy on yourself. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to be alone, be alone. But never ever quit yourself.
Just to share, I decided to quit a decade job in the hope of sorting out what is missing in my life. But right now, I'm still going through healing. The new job seems revolting within me. A lot of doubts and questions. What if it fails? What if it comes through? What if... too many what ifs.
At the end of the day, remember to take easy on yourself. Do something you have never done before. That's what I had been doing, self-rediscovery. Never quit the process of healing. Sooner or later, life will take us to a place of bliss and of dreams coming through.
I have enjoyed your instrospection. Continue to live and dream!
!discovery 15