Monday, April 3rd, 2023সোমবার, ২০শে চৈত্র, ১৪২৯ বঙ্গাব্দ
We all like to do a lot of things, we day dream, and we ‘zone out’ and often don’t do any of those things.
“Dive in the Great Barrier Reef; ride the Orient Express; live on the Amalfi Coast with nothing but a motorcycle and a backpack; kiss a stranger on the balcony of the Hotel Du Cap.”.......as Roy Miller played by Tom Cruise said in the movie Knight and Day.
There are some things in life worth waiting for - a trip to a sunny beach, a cold drink on a hot summer weekend day, and of course the elusive century. I grew up in India. Cricket is the only religion I cared for when growing up. I understood what the allure of 100 was. It is way more than a number. I used to bat lower down the order at number 7 and used to do leg-spin googly bowling. I have played through the college, semi-professionally even. It means, I even got paid once in a while, back in those days well before T20 was invented. So I know what century is. I have never done one in cricket. I wasn’t much of a batsman, and batting lower down the order back in those days, typically didn’t get me too much of an opportunity to score a 100. I never did one. But I did do a 99 once. Only once! Nah, I am not going to talk about it…
As a kid, I daydreamed a lot as every other kid of my age. I will do this and that. Never made much of a difference. When I talked about those things with my close friends, it never made much of a difference to them either. But after that 99, as I was getting yorked, time runs slow you know during those events; as I felt the ball sliding under my bat, even before I heard the sound that will surely come, I made a call to myself. I am not going to let some of those daydreams pass. At the time, Mackenna's Gold was a favorite movie of mine. I have always loved westerns. I thought ‘someday’ I will visit that place, that Canyon. That spire whose shadow dropped into the entrance of the Canyon of Gold at sunrise. Yes, I have visited Spider Rock, Canyon de Chelly, Arizona in real life. I have done many things I daydreamed about as a kid, as a young adult. I will do many other things that I want to do.
I also realized as an old man now, that getting out at 99 once was rather important. It was not just a number, it was much more than that for me. It was not a failure, but rather a life-changing success. I hope each of you finds your own successes from something rather unimportant.
-- Editor.
It surprises me when I notice the differences between my childhood times and my niece who's almost 13 now.
The life of a soon-to-be teenager is very complicated these days. You remember the phrase "the resemblance is uncanny" and this what I see is a complete 180 degree. From their studies to social activities and norms to their behavior and thinking patterns to their group dynamic, all of them are so different from how and what I used to do when I was a teenager. Sometimes I feel grateful that kids are growing up informative and other times I feel so despondent thinking why couldn't they be oblivious or why they aren't a certain way. And these thoughts retreat back into my mind as soon as I realize that I can't mold people or kids into being how I want them to be.
I don't remember half of what I have learned in school, but I vaguely remember the syllabus. What they study is completely different from what we did - we had a rather extensive material; exhaustively lengthy. But the kids nowadays don't - their study materials aren't too long but the variety is shocking. Once I picked up my niece's last year's history book, I was surprised to see that the books contain history about the Mayans, Inca, and Spanish inquisition. And then recently I picked up her math book and the materials they're covering now are something we've learned way earlier than their age. I think I'd compare it to quality over quantity and not that our study materials were of less quality but the comparison is like a grocery shop versus a super shop but still makes me a bit doubtful.
Also, I noticed that kids these days are too attached to technology - their cell phones and laptops or desktop. Up until I was a teenager, I had the afternoons reserved as the time to play with other kids till sundown. We had a big group and we used to play all sorts of games, even football, and cricket. Now I barely know who's living in the building opposite my house. Other than riding her bicycle with 3 or 4 kids in the neighborhood, my niece doesn't have any friends in the area, though her school is a different story. I didn't have a mobile until I was 14 years old and that phone was only equipped to make calls and texts with no internet and that phone was my mother's. The first time I chatted with someone on the internet was back in 2005 - a little late but the internet wasn't a day-to-day commodity around that time. And around that time and in the subsequent years, it became increasingly popular and our network providers were also trying to provide the internet with cell services. And now we have way too many internet providers around us trying to supply us with connections that are good as well as affordable.
Things have changed so much from early 2000 to now it's astonishing. Along with all study, playtime, or attachments to technology, I see that kids behave differently than how we used to. During my school years the most popular students were usually the toppers of the class, the higher you were in ranks in terms of academics the more popular you were. That's certainly not the scenario now. Yes, academic achievements do shed kids under a certain spotlight but I don't understand how they measure popularity. It's based on how many friends you have or how popular your friends are or how many others know you or follow your Instagram and Tiktok. Popularity wasn't really much of a headache before. What's also surprising is the drama; gosh the drama they create and the drama they face could certainly make up a TV series or pageant shows too.
All of these have made me realize that if things have changed so drastically now, what will happen when these kids become parents? If it feels like a nightmare now it won't be any easier in the future either.
Only time will tell.
After having a hectic working day, I yield up in my favourite place (my bed obviously) and start scrolling social media with a drowsy face. After a while, a status from my university friend catches me up.
Call yourself tolerant when people can at least EAT/DRINK comfortably around you. (not everyone is entitled to/willing to fast). Else, just don't wear the crown.
This status struck me for a while. Well, before saying something, I wanted you to know we don't share the same religion. But will something change that much if she is from a Muslim family too? Cause, to be honest, I've gone through the same situation in my childhood and the scenario is the same for most of us, especially girls. We, the women, can't fast the whole month for a certain amount of time.
Menstruation is common to all. Still, in Ramadan, the women around us don’t feel comfortable taking their meals while men are around. Speaking of myself, I don’t even feel easy eating something outside around those seven days, can't even carry water bottles while I'm travelling to university, on public transport or at Eid shopping, because I am not willing to face judgmental looks from others.
Even this culture is common inside our family too. I've encountered many newly married women who tend to wake up in Sehri even on their period. And don't want to go through with the other religion.
We only face this for seven days, but people like that friend of mine suffer for the whole month.
Another thing which I've to tolerate in my student life is the scarcity of food in university dorms. Back then, the canteen meal was only available for Iftar and dinner. Those among us don’t fast because they practice a different religion, had to make their own food, or had to depend on the packet of bread or biscuit from the store.
I don't know what happens in other countries, but this shouldn't be the scenario. Ramadan is the month of peace where every year we, the Muslim practice the notion of gratitude, endurance, and restraint for Allah. We try to be patient and build empathy for others this month. And we also persuade ourselves to learn how to sacrifice and fill our hearts with love for others.
Unfortunately, all of us don’t feel the same way. A collective prejudice hovers above our society, and because of this, we failed to ensure the comfort zone for others, while also failing to develop tolerance and an open-minded mentality towards them.
So let's try and think about these issues and make a better place for all of us, where at least people can feel comfortable around us. Happy Ramadan!
We were told that the world is a cold, hard place - the world will chew us up for supper. The world doesn't have the time for this. The world is a machine and we are the cog. The world is a race and we are already late to the starting line. We were told the world is something to endure.
It starts with a great undoing. The unlocking of doors. The untying of knots - knots around doctrine and dogma. Knots on our shoulders, the place where we carry it all. They start to say things like maybe she's coming unhinged and we know we're onto something. It was the unlearning of the premise: we were raised to believe that we are lost.
It asked us to open. So we did, like the lid off a jam jar. Like a window of a glass house. Then we started to spill: we are petals tumbling off the peony. We are summer rain crashing down. We are ribbon unspooling down the staircase, racing our sister. We are the glance between two almost-lovers about to speak.
The world is full of softness, and we have proof: we are told that the way to survive is to bristle and stone ourselves against the cruelties and disappointments; we are told to avert our eyes, to stay in our lane. Instead, we put flowers in our hair and cry on behalf of strangers and give each other nicknames and we ask again for more and make food for friends who are grieving and write notes on the mirror in the morning and plant seeds right before the ground freezes in audacious hope that Spring will come again.
Last night had been a wild wild ride for me, in regards to consuming some well-edited and problematic forms of video content on, well you guessed it, YouTube.
Now, I know what I will talk about will undoubtedly raise some questioning eyebrows and eye-rolls from both my peers, and others who might take a glance at this written piece, but as the saying goes: “sometimes, you just gotta let it out, man!!”
So here I am, at an odd hour of the night, writing away about why I think modern feminism just really, really sucks.
Yes. Right there. I’ve said it! Boom!
Honestly, at this point I really do not know why this is anything that should even be debated, as now, this concept is so f*cking morphed and modified that women (and men; I see you bois!) out there can’t bring out the courage to define what womanhood is. Apparently, the definition of women is anything that a woman wants it to be, and which, by the way, is not limited to only those who have the biological female gender. This basically indicates that, now, the whole concept of being a woman, and feminism as a whole is as fluid as the water, where there is free reign for anyone who deems change is needed.
Don’t get me wrong now. I am all for change here! I am a pro-abortionist up to a certain point and all for women's rights. But there is a line between wanting equality for women and then going on to radicalize everything about men and women both in society, that I do not like to cross.
It’s a universal truth that women and men cannot be equal. I’m talking about biological and physical aspects here. We are built differently, and we have different roles. And yes, because of this, women throughout history have been terribly, terribly discriminated against and dominated. Women were once not allowed to read as we all know very very well! They didn’t have the right to vote and many other such disparities they were subjected too! These were exactly the reasons that the older feminists fought for their rights.
But now, in the glorious 2023, the whole concept of feminism is suddenly about being a badass b*itch. We see influencers preaching for women to be bold, to be bad and to be reckless, which would’ve been fine if it were for fighting for their rights and careers but sadly, now it’s just all about getting laid. It’s almost laughable to see how uneducated and unintellectual the women of this age are than those of the late eighties or nineties, and honestly just sends me into despair seeing what we have become.
I’d give anything to get back the real bad b#ches of feminists, that rallied against patriarchy, and were more knowledgable than most males, who bore a mind that was sharp as razors and a mouth as cold as ice. At this point, anything over these ungrateful, entitled bubblegum-popping idiots who only know how to look pretty in front of the camera, and finding the best ways to bad mouth each other would be good enough. Women of this generation are not out to look after one another. As a woman myself, I think I am capable enough to testify to that. The over-the-top trashing, the laughable manipulation and the good old victim cards are just a few of the tools most of us use on the daily basis, and as we are the so-called bad b#tches of society, we are proud of them too.
It’s a god-awful parody, compared to what we once were, and what we once stood for.
This weeks Turni is presented by @rafa-noor, @riz611 and @drivingindevon.
99th issue, one more to go 🔥
Nervous Nineties
This is true, but like you have mentioned about fulfilling a few of the daydreams you have had. I do have a few too, for example, the setup in front of me, reading this Turni through that, my pc. Many more are yet to come, and I haven't stopped dreaming as I believe in myself to fulfill them someday.
Time Will Tell
@surrealfia
These are the differences that create a generational gap. When they grow up their thoughts and opinions will be much different than ours. Like now, the differences we do share with our parents, maybe we are agreeing with lots of things but there is always a gap in how easily we are embracing them.
Practicing Tolerance
@rafa-noor
Our families should normalize these topics and teach them to their kids, and only then our senses would work correctly. Btw I have never seen or thought of how the canteen works during Ramadan, it's really sad that a portion of the students needs to suffer during that time.
Truly it is! My experience was from few years ago, maybe now it got changed. My sister was telling the other day that some of the students in her hall started to sell homemade foods as iftar. But maybe that can cover the apatite of a little portion of students.
I hope so too.
after I wrote this post, I showed it to someone who's in his mid-40s. After reading it he said, "Now go back 10 to 14 years and imagine my childhood." and now I keep thinking what'll be the picture 10 years later
Maybe you will be picturing your Darjeeling and Turkey memories. 😁
@rafa-noor Angel I think the problem is with the mentality of people; the mentality that is the more religious you seem on the outside, the more entitled you are. And this isn't something that can be dealt with with ease. I haven't been fasting this Ramadan and yet during my office hours, I can't even look at water due to the whole environment being just that in my office.
@drivingindevon dude the thing is that feminism was supposed to look like the first stepping stone to climb higher from the pit that women were stuck in but a lot of people are stuck there. the next step is actually being equal; more importantly referring to yourself as human than man or woman. Being human, being brave, being strong, being kind, and being flawed. The issue became that the idea of feminism became somewhat warped - one gender isn't superior to the other. then came the issue of being laid. A few months back I was reading a book where the protagonist said something that got me - she said that "the fact of taking sons to a sex worker to make a man out of them is a red flag" and she got a reply from her friend "imagine if girls were taken to sex workers to make them a woman" I think the whole issue of getting laid is some sort of a protest - the protest that seems more like a tantrum. If sons and daughters were treated the same way (as a kid should be), this "getting laid" wouldn't even come to this point. oh btw watch this - it kind of changed some of my ideas about sugar babies.
So sorry to hear that medusa :((
this is our society, and gradually we're getting shaped by the negative minded people. It's really hard to step up from the crowd but I think we need to be the one who can make a little change! 💙
This week's piece is dominated by the girls it seems, job well done, ladies. ❤️🔥
And as always, a round of applause for you lot behind the scenes, especially this time for @rafa-noor and @drivingindevon. The credit only goes to you both. 💯
Eh, why so!! You did all the proofreading part!! Together, we all made it happen 💙
Mehh proofreading is easy haha, but yes, we had our team effort in there too, as always. 🔥
Nahh we all did good! So not taking the credits here!
GIF 😑
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Why do you think they are saying that? They are saying that because it sells (for most of them). I am certain there are true influencers out there. For them it is not about that. I am surrounded by women Sam. A lot of them are very successful on their respective lives, others who are not, but they are still happy in their own way.
I feel you are too angry, which is only normal at this age. I was too. Although I was (and is) not a woman, so I can never understand what exactly you feel, but I can get very close to it just from experience.
If you want influencers, reals ones, please look up Jessica Watson. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_Watson
There is a movie made on her recently, I have watched it. It is rather nice. It is on Netflix
True Spirit
Of course there are exceptions from the norms dada, but lately, the number of exceptions are dwindling. I know there are good influencers and active voices out there who are actually doing what matters, and I also know there are many many successful women who rose above everything. What upset me is this new wave of ignorant females we have now, who think they are leading the feminist activities, without harbouring the minimum knowledge about the history, or about anything really. They are not intellectuals. Half of them don't even know how to think properly.
I just wish that the number of exceptions we have of wonderful, successful and truly knowledgeable women would've been more than what we have now.
And okay dada, I'll watch the movie. I read her wiki page and damn I am impressed.
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