I was a happy rock.
Just existing.
Minding my own business.
Playing my part in the rock cycle.
Geologic time had been good to me.
I had done alright the last hundred thousand years or so. Living underground, slowly working my way to a life on the surface.
It was nice and gradual.
I was in no hurry to expose myself too quickly.
It's a big transition for a humble boulder like me, going from underground to surface-dweller in just a few short decades.
I didn't want to rush it.
So I was happy in my current situation, surrounded with a cozy blanket of dirt, with just my face peeking out.
But that all changed Friday when some cocky mountain-bike-riding upstart came coasting down my hill, one pedal straight towards the ground.
Well what happened? The fool had all his weight on that one pedal!
And as he passed over head, it struck me with such enormous force, that I was violently flipped straight out of the ground.
Unbelievable!
This inconsiderate bicycle hooligan fell off after he hit me (lol) and then, to add insult to injury, came over and gave me a swift kick after getting up off the ground.
Was that really necessary?!
The nerve!
It was all his fault anyway!
Ugh. Idiot human.
I was just a mostly-buried rock, minding my own business...
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