Oh boy, Nicky this struck me hard like a frying pan today! You know this morning I got a notification that I'm a month behind on paying my storage fees - practically everything I own is in storage currently in that one unit. Can I afford a double payment this month? No, I can't right now and after feeling absolutely panicked I came to this weird place that was absolutely new and terrifying to me...acceptance that if they sell everything I own to cover the cost of my unit, well so be it and I kinda just let it go.
I told my ex that he needs to make a plan to get his shit out of there before month end or it's not going to be there anymore. He's suddenly going to make it happen. I also told myself that I've survived for almost a year with very little of it, so I'd just have to start again one day when I'm able to. I was weirdly okay with that too. I don't have to worry too much about being judged because those that are going to judge me have already done so and it's really not about them anyway. I was holding onto all that stuff in the hope that "one day" my circumstances would change and I'd be able to empty that storage unit...but they haven't changed for the better and maybe now is the right time to absolutely take myself to the bare minimum of who I am, because I can't take any of that shit with me anyway, so maybe that extra baggage just needs to be sloughed off like a snake shedding a skin it no longer fits into.
As a kid, I was brought up in a house full of hoarders and taught that you have to hold onto absolutely every single little thing that was given to you by someone because it has sentimental value and it's a disgrace and insult to whoever gave me that thing. So for half my life I lugged around ten gazillion boxes of stuffed toys and books and trinkets and gadgets because of that.
Now, well now I just want it to stop hanging over me like baggage because essentially that is all it has become. Negative emotional baggage and it feel shite.
Anyway, sorry for the long comment, but your post just found me on the right day at the right time. I don't know why it happened but clearly someone wants me to take note.
I only just changed that concept over a year now, and my life is better for it.
I think you'll know "thoughtful" gifts when you receive them and be able to decipher what deserves your sentiments, regardless of anything.🤣 Same here too @emma-h
Nicky's post was indeed a pleasant surprise for me, as she expressed so much that I've been feeing lately 🙏
Oh yes, I can totally tell the difference between the right gifts and things I'm just holding onto for the sake of not offending others. Nicky really did hit the nail on the head with this one. It was a great post.