Greetings!
Sometimes I wonder if it's only me who easily attaches unnecessary meanings when receiving a gift from a loved one, be it in a relationship or just a very good friend or family member. The unnecessary meanings here refer to the idea that when you receive something, you should be ready to give it back in multiple folds in other ways or that it's a practical means of tying someone down. Well, you can't blame me if I'm the only one stuck with such a mindset; I didn't grow up receiving many gifts like my peers, and the few ones I did receive came exactly with the same mindset/thought.
There was a time I worked in the church as an accountant officially, but I was essentially everything to my boss. Along the line, a superior boss in the city found my way of doing my job interesting, so he started to get me involved in doing work in his office too, especially going to banks to make transactions which usually took the whole day for me whenever I did such tasks. It happened in such a way that I was serving the two bosses at the same time, and I didn't mind because they were spiritual heads and I just had to be open-minded....I wasn't paid double and I was okay too
Along the way, the superior boss started to give me clothing as gifts.
This happened on days when I didn't do any work for him, and these weren't money; they were chinos trousers, t-shirts, ties, and other items. So it wasn't as if he was paying for the work I was doing for him. Well, it wasn't like that, but deep down in my heart, I saw it as a 'thank you,' for my work and I felt he was using that to keep me doing work for him, which I hated(I mean I hated the such an act). I don't like it when I'm doing something for someone wholeheartedly and the person uses such methods to show appreciation.
It became a big concern for me. How do I stop him? How do I tell him that I was doing the job out of love and respect and not expecting the gifts he was giving in return? There's one thing about such a person: even if you approach them to tell them to stop, they'll get angry because they think they're doing it out of love. Yeah, that's exactly how the superior boss is. In fact, he's a pastor, and pastors often give gifts out of love.
I pondered a lot on how to set boundaries and make him stop giving me gifts, but none of the ideas that came to mind were doable. The biggest idea was to stop doing work for him without giving an explicit reason, but that was totally insane because he's the superior to my direct boss, who would query him about why I stopped showing up or receiving his calls. In fact, it was totally impossible because he would drive down to our house to counsel me about why I stopped.
Well, the only thing left was to tell him because I didn't want to lie or start unnecessarily avoiding him and his calls.
I went to him, and we spoke at length as I explained to him how uncomfortable I was with receiving such gifts. And guess what? As usual, he sat me down for hours to lecture me on how he loves gifting and does it out of his free will, with no attachment to any dutiful act by the recipient.
In the end, I had no option but to live with it because he won the argument. Lol. 😅
Thanks for reading
This is my response to KISS prompt of the week
| All photos are mine |
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When you said you went to talk to the superior boss about the gifts, I already knew you would end up receiving lectures from him. Coupled with the fact that he is a pastor, it won't be hard for him to talk for a long time alongside convincing the person he is talking to.
It doesn't seem like he has any ulterior motive for gifting you so just accept them with gladness 😀.
#Dreemerforlife.
Hahahahah!😂
I was hoping I would win him as in the case of David and Goliath but even as he's the superior (Goliath), God was still with him 😂
Thank you for stopping by🙌
Unfortunately, there are people like that who just love giving gifts. And there is nothing we can do about it. I know how uncomfortable it gets to keep receiving gifts from someone but since he says it’s okay… then it’s okay
Dreemport
Yeah, I just had to let it be like that since I tried to stop him and he didn't concur.
Such is life.
Thank you for stopping by, whale🙌
Don’t whine me… abeg o. My helper could be lurking around
!lolz 😅😅😅
I'm glad things turned out well for you in the end. Sometimes when we give from the heart, as in your case, if the person just says "thank you" we feel good, because we know why we are doing it. But at the same time I understand your boss that when we feel grateful we want to do or give something to the person. I think it went very well 😃
Yeah, it went well at the end, at least I brought it to his understanding and he saw my heart.
Thank you very much for stopping by
Yeah it looks awkward. I was also feeling uncomfortable while reading. But what's about you. You had feel this deeply. OMG. But I laughed when you say he win argument haha.
Hahahahah😂
He couldn't allow me to get away with my decision, so he won😂
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You went to tell Senior Pastor to stop gifting you and you ended up receiving lecture 🤣. I knew there was no way you were going to win that case. Better enjoy your designer wears oo 🤣
#crossculture
Hahahahah😂
Lwkmd!😂
You need to see how I gathered all the boldness and courage to go and meet him. At the end, he gave me that adage of "what an elder see while sitting down..."
Thank you for stopping by dear.
I can see that the man it the kind of person that appreciate good gestures beyond verbal. I understand how you felt either. It's awesome that you engaged him and got clarifications. Cheers!!!
#dreemerforlife
Yeah, although he won at the end, I was glad I was able to pour out my mind to him.
Thank you for coming around
You are welcome.
I don't also feel comfortable taking gifts from people but then we have no option. Sometimes the best way people can appreciate us is through gifts and most times they don't necessarily want anything in return.
I came across this post on Dreemport
Yeah, that's life for us.
We just have to adapt and keep going
Thank you!
😂😂 and here I was thinking that you would win.
Collect the gifts and close your eyes to the uncomfortability
My mind was made up to win him but hey, he's a very rough Pastor 😂
Thank you stopping by
👍
Lol, I can totally understand how you felt, I also find it uncomfortable receiving gifts too much from a person. It gets more uncomfortable if you are unable to return such gesture, because you are incapable at that particular time.
#dreemerforlife
Yeah, the feeling makes me so uncomfortable.
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