South African, that photographer, btw.
Look, you remember what I said about judging... I think there's a lot more to this story than just one story, and the world (let's say most people) tend to see things in a reductionist and biased way. So... I'm left with the idea that this man did a lot of good through his work. No one who has not lived through it can imagine how hard life is for these photographers who do their work in war zones or disasters.
I just think of the many dissatisfactions that plague me in my daily life, things that if I think about them in depth are nothing compared to attending such events where life breaks down in the most horrible ways, and you can't do anything but tell about it. Because you are simply not a supernatural being, saviour of the world.
Carter committed suicide because he was broken. He couldn't cope with so much. It wasn't because of the criticism after that photo, he had a life where the courage to live it is not a concept, it's not anything... it's not even an approximation of what we think courage is.
He was broken... that's all.
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Now isn't that the problem, right there!
I didn't follow up on the story, so thanks for sharing that.
I did imagine that he saw too much. That is all.
And I do know that broken people tend to try and fix the world. Yet, mostly, we aren't ready to until we've healed ourselves and we can, thus, die trying. I'm sad he did. That was a hella shot. And it must have haunted him until the end.
I'd have taken the shot and saved the child. Or done the best I could to do that.
That's if I found myself in such circumstances. And me... these days I do know I'm not cut out for that kind of thing. It'd kill me too.
It's a brutal world, at times. But this is life as it is.
The girl (who was a boy, they say, actually) lived after that for 13 or 14 years and died of a disease that I don't remember, I would have to look it up. Malaria, maybe.
Have you seen the work of this photographer?
I have, because we were told a lot about him and this case at college, when we were talking about ethics in journalism.
With a brief Google search you can see what this man saw on a daily basis. No one survives that in good mental health. And it seems that the criticism that followed with the issue of that photo overwhelmed him.
I haven't looked deeper than that one bit of info and it was also related to ethics in journalism.
God.People.
And that's why those who feel deeply sometimes should perhaps be more cautious in dealings with group dynamics. One on one we tend to be more human but there's a ferociousness that appears when "the pack" is together.
Of course it would. For many and probably most people. I almost killed myself, at one point, because of exactly that, you know. But I felt it was irresponsible to abandon my kids in the thick of it. Cowardly.
When you've endured enough of the pack judgement for long enough, however, you become more philosophical about it. And then it even becomes kinda silly when you observe it. Animal. And unconscious. And if you can't respect people being cruel, outright stupid and unconscious then it becomes easier to not respect the opinion.
This took some years of being very hurt though :)