If there's one thing I'm good at, it's being aware of spirit/mind/body/breath. I should be, after years of practicing yoga and various meditations. I always wonder how I'd be right now if I hadn't had a 'mindful' practice that helps connect these aspects. Probably in a padded room, or dead.
It doesn't mean I'm a perfect being that has all this totally sorted. I'm never going to be a Buddha or achieve enlightement.
It just means I have some tools at my disposal to help me out when things are a little rough.
This week we settled on our new house on the coast. Fucking cortisol response was intense. It makes my neck and shoulders tense, my jaw tight, my very cells vibrate. My logical mind knows that there is nothing to worry about. My limbic brain, however - oof. It was making me feel sick. There was just so much to do. Mum said 'one thing at a time', but how can one do that when the 'one thing' is moving house and selling a house at the same time?
rake the rabbit holes - tidy the compost - feed the chooks - get some straw - hose the paths - pick up the lemons - call the real estate agent - mop the floors - wash the bedding - what's the surf doing - bring some wood in - sweep the front deck - clean the grout in the ensuite - fresh flowers in the vases - do the shopping - go to bunnings - pick up the keys - ring the bank - do tax return tuesday - dig up the two natives in front - pack boxes into the van - meet mum to do the garden at new place - get cleaning stuff - make dinner
These are practical, grounded tasks to do, and if that's all I had to do, I'd be find. But then there's my monkey mind, chattering away. It's the second yoga sutra after all that says the aim of yoga is to quiet the constant chatter of this mind. We're not aiming for no thought, just to not get caught up in thoughts.
Cue maniacal laughter.
how much is the new roof going to cost - can I finally learn to drive a trailer - i need to fertilise the natives at the new place - what if we hid the fridge behind a door - how much does double glazing cost - can i make my own linen curtains - i'm behind on my knitting - i don't think i can afford europe next year - fuck i forget my library books - when is the food charity open this week - why haven't i been given any work have i done something wrong? - i miss my dad - need to sell the bow - fuck forgot to pay the rego
So, tools.
Make a cup of zen tea. Sit and knit. Breath.
I'm aware of my thoughts going nuts I don't need to sit with my thoughts, or observe them, thanks very much. I know they'll pass. I just need to get them to quiet and slow down a little, and calm my parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) which is reacting to this overload.
So no matter how busy I am, sitting for ten minutes is going to be the best thing I could do in the day. My old yoga teacher used to say that yoga makes space, and life fills it up. I always loved that concept. The more space you can make with mindful practice, the more room there is for life in the container of the self.
When I'm this anxious and stressed I can't actually breath properly. I'm aware of how shallow my breath is and how it's affecting the rest of me but my mind is too all over the place to calm me down.
So whether I'm sitting on my bed knitting or just having a cup of tea or even driving in my car, I listen to this meditation on the Insight timer app. I actually have it bookmarked to my homescreen so I can go straight to it. It's simple box breathing - in for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four. It goes for about five minutes, but when I'm really on edge or fractured or overthinking I'll listen to it three or four times. I've probably played this thousands of times over the years now! I just really like his voice and the calm and simple manner he gets me back into my body through breath.
On Thursday, after my morning meltdown, I practiced box breathing with the app for about twenty minutes then headed down to the house to meet Mum. She wasn't feeling great either - the ups and downs of grief and adjusting to her new solo life are rough sometimes. Together we knew exactly what to do - be outside in nature and garden. Physical exercise in the sunshine would help our nervous systems.
Sometimes mindfulness is just a tool you need rather than a fancy word or complicated practice. It's noticing sensations in the body and having some tactics to regulate the nervous system.
It's a tool you need for survival.
This post was written in response to the Mindful Monday QOTW which you can find in the Minimalist Community on the Hive blockchain.
With Love,
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"my monkey mind, chattering away" I call it hamster head, because it's like a hamster on the exercise wheel, whirling away... I taught myself 30 years ago to stop this when it happens,as at the time, my stress load was far too high and I had to learn ways of reducing it.
My jobs list is very similar to yours. I write mine down, then I don't carry them in my head. The hardest part is remembering to look at the lists...sigh...
I'd taught my brother and mom the box breathing last October because I'd just seen it in one of your posts. It didn't help her at the time, as the problem, we found out later, was her heart failing. But my brother remembered it and when he had a bad attack of sciatica recently, he tried it and it reduced the pain significantly. He had to call and tell me this.
And while the 2 of you had a lot of stuff you are dealing with, I am so glad you could be together during some of it and out in the gardens. I loved this: meet mum to do the garden at new place. I thought how cool!
Bookmarking that box breathing track is such a smart move when the mind is racing. Having one simple 4 4 4 4 rhythm you can jump into makes a real difference, and twenty minutes can feel like a full reset. The garden time with your mum after that sounds like medicine. Do you ever sync the breath with steps on a slow walk, or does knitting do it best for you?
Ahhhhh this is what moving does with one! Let me guess (since this is the case here)....the hubby doesn't have all of these thoughts as this is totally a woman thing ;))). But it is true...one thing at a time, can't do everything in 1 day
(formatting wise....how do you get these small letters in your post? Want this as well :D)
I can't wait to see your new house! But I see why it could be hectic, for sure, so kudos to you for having a back-up :) Gonna check out that meditation on Insight. Hugs.
I hope you like it @honeydue . It's so simple. The other ones I love are Jennifer Piercys Yoga Nidra, also on Insight.
This image belongs to millycf1976 and was manipulated using Canva.
Breath work has been my go-to for years and it really does put oneself into a peaceful mind state. It is hard to stay present and focused when you know how much has to get done. Glad that you and your mom know how to help each other, gardens rock it for tranquility.
They do, and I know you spend a lot of time in yours!💓
Here I am, to give you another video game reccomendation, uninvited. First it was Last of Us (you've seen the series, I haven't, but I can assure you the game probably goes into way more depth and is sublime) - but I want to introduce you to Disco Elysium.
Why? Your mention of the Limbic Brain. Disco Elysium is a very intelligent experience, that transcends the whole "being just a video game". You play as a hung over, drunk cop, filled with self hatred, confusion, and some pretty derranged views on life.
You get to experience the entire dramatis personae of each of the brain's "centres", limbic, sensory, the ancient lizard brain, the ego, etc. It is dense narrative, and it is about a war torn city. Mieville's The City and The City no doubt inspired a bunch of the game, I just discovered them in the wrong order (game first, then book) - but now that I have experienced both - its brilliant.
I have had meditation suggested to me so many times, but I tend to overthink and think too qucik constantly, so I cannot really suspend my disbelief or lucidity well enough to get positive outcomes from meditation / breathing exercises. It leaves me feeling like a fraud.
Perhaps I just need to be better connected to my own body. Don't be in a super rush to get everything done in the new house, or the cortisol will take hold and refuse to let go. When we moved in here over a year ago (only just) - I spent the first three of four months working 10-14 hours a day unpacking, assembling furniture, those trips to the hardware store, looking for furniture, organising tradespeople for the things I was not legally permitted to do, and I now realise for many of these things, I have the rest of my life to do it.
So there's three or four spots that need some paint. The paint is in the shed, but I have no brushes or rollers. Then there's another long list of stuff to sort and sell. But I have the rest of my life to do it. :)
I do wish I could game, because that sounds like a fascinating one. I'd love to see Last of Us as a game too!
Though meditation isn't your thing, do just give the breathing a quick go .. it's only seven minutes. I assure you you won't feel like a fraud. It's merely breathing in and out, and you have lungs.
We will paint and sand floors over the school holidays. We are hopeless at inaction.
I've joined the same club as you. I must always be doing something. I might give the breathing thing a try. It won't kill me. Heck, the lack of it might ;)
That's a great saying!
Well, I haven't done Yoga for many years, but the same could be said of any meditation or meditative activity. I'll have to borrow that line.