Hmm, I can't pretend to understand, but I think I at least get what it means to try to make sense of how you feel in writing, yet feel as though you've not communicated those feelings clearly enough or you doubt that your reader would understand.
I'm a creative writer, but leisurely. Nothing serious, just bits and pieces of how I feel or what happened, or what's happening, and when I put it together, I'm told it's very good, but I easily light that load, like I was carrying coal. It's fascinating how different people are, isn't it? I guess it's partly because unwinding comes to me easily.
Yours was a good read. Kudos! 🌻
Guess so :) Thanks, I'm glad you resonated.