Hello great minimalist, greetings to you all.
For a long time now, whenever I hear word ‘declutter’ all my mind would always think of is how to discard unnecessary items or anything that is no longer useful to me, maybe my old clothes, worn out shoes and every other things worth discarding.
I never saw the internal side of it, I did not know my mind, people and anything that drains my energy would also need to be decluttered.
You know, a lot of times we focus on the physical things and forget that we need to look inward too and let go of everything that clutters our space. I have a whole lot to talk about as regards to this but I will just have to focus on one aspect that I had neglected so much for years.
It is very easy to declutter physical things but emotional declutter can be so hard especially when we let go of relationships that meant a lot to us. I am that one person that is very intentional with my relationships with people in such a way that I could go all out to make sure my friends are alright.
I had this friend, she was the first friend I made in college and so she was that dear to me. We were cool but not until things changed, it seemed like we were not going the same direction anymore.
I would always check up on her and tried so hard just to keep the relationship going. Though she was not reciprocating same I still stood continued with hope that she would change with time.
The effort was one sided, I had complained severally about her attitude towards me, she would apologize and we would move on. In the next semester, everything changed completely, she made some new friends and we barely walk together anymore but we still talked. I was not angry that she had new friends o, she was trying to associate better with people and to me that was a nice thing.
Something happened one day, we all went for a picnic, I called her and asked if we could go together but she said she would not be able to come for the picnic that she was not so strong.
So I left for the picnic not too long she arrived with her new friends I was surprised and that was not the whole deal but she avoided me the whole time till we finished. To be very honest, I felt so sad, I felt so bad and it affected me all through the picnic.
The next day, I went to her hostel and lucky for me she was still in her room, so I asked her if we could talk and she agreed. I asked her why she had to do all that to me, atleast she shouldn’t have avoided me knowing that she was the only and first friend I had.
She told me she was sorry and I forgave her, but I knew everything had changed, it was as though I was forcing things, and she did not care, the whole effort was one-sided.
I knew maybe she no longer needed me in her space and I had to gradually keep the distance and detach peacefully. It was hard for me, I actually felt lonely for months but I guess I felt better.
Keeping her in my space was only draining my energy, though it was hard and painful but for my peace of mind I hard to peacefully and silently let the relationship go.
For a whole semester it was hard to have someone so close as she was to me, but I learnt, I learnt to be my best person.
Emotional declutter is hard and painful but always remember that not everything is meant to stay forever, some things and some people are just meant to stay in our lives for a season and we have to let them go when the season is over.
I hope you find the courage to let go anything that is cluttering your space and draining your energy.
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I have a similar experience so i understand how you felt, it’s a great thing you put yourself first.
yeah! I don't regret that decision though it was a hard one