Basically, I’m confused by the conflicting teachings I hear in this regard. Is there really such a thing as a destined partner? Let me put it this way; Are soul mates real?
The other day we had a 3-day program in church and it was centered on finding the ideal partner. Considering the fact that I’ve been thinking a lot about taking this love thing seriously again, I made sure not to miss the program. In fact, I made sure to clear off every other agenda previously scheduled for those days.
It was all going well till someone said something about praying that our respective partners should be revealed to us by divine orchestrations, possibly through dreams. He said a whole lot but I was still confused, and I’ll tell you why at some point in this article.
A few other ministers spoke up about how they found out who their partners are. Some via a divine voice, some via dreams and revelations, and so on. Someone also pointed out that he knew who his wife was like five years prior to when they met. He said he knew her name and what she looked like, so he waited patiently until he finally met her.
At the close of the program, I was equipped with so much knowledge on how to be an ideal spouse, but there was a particular thing that kept troubling me. Fortunately, just as the program was about to end, the host asked if there was anyone who had a question.
I did, so I started to write mine down expecting a basket to pass around to collect the papers, but opted out the very minute it was stated that we would have to ask our questions standing in front of the entire congregation.
Now, since I couldn’t ask my question there, I’d ask here, please try to follow me. I apologize if it’s all too confusing. Just please, read as many times as you wish, you’ll get a hang of it, I promise. (Imagine that you’re in the congregation with me while you read the next couple of lines).
You say there’s a man that God has ordained for a woman to marry, (that is every single one of us are destined to marry partners divinely chosen for us way before we were even formed) but the only way to truly discern who the chosen one is, is by praying and obeying the will of God right?
Take me for instance, what happens when I am divinely convinced that a man is to be my spouse, and somehow we become friends, I tell him about my dreams and visions about us being a couple, but he turns me down completely, stating clearly that the most we can ever be are friends and nothing more.
Now, if this man settles for another lady, they get married and all that…
Does this mean that the partner God has ordained for me has been taken from me, hence, there is no one else for me, and even if i finally get to marry someone else, does this mean that I have married wrong?
Also, does this also mean that both myself and the man would suffer a bad marriage because we’re married to people God has not ordained for us?
Please make it make sense.
I had this conversation with a few friends and one of them was like,
“You better pray, if you miss it, Efe, if you miss it, it’ll only take grace for you to ever get it right”.
But then again, the God I serve is a merciful God, if truly I miss the man has chosen for me, Shall He not raise another?
I spoke to someone else about this same topic, and he said that there was absolutely nothing like God choosing partners for us. He further stated that it was our duty as Christians to prayerfully and wisely choose our partners, and when we do so, we present them in prayers before God.
Even as I type this, confusion is the order of the moment. I apologize if I also got you confused at any point. I just want answers!
Some people say when you find the ONE, you just know in your heart of hearts that it’s that person. Others say you have to prayerfully listen to what God tells you via dreams and revelations, and that listening to our hearts is like putting our emotions before our brains.
Now, the big question is, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
PS: I do not exactly know if this content is a good fit for this community, so please understand. Also, it's my first time here, so pleaseeeeee be nice😁😁.
I believe God allows us to choose our spouses, he gave us freedom to choose. "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the lord" this bible verse didn't say "he whom God gives a wife".
In Gen 3:12, when God asked Adam if he ate from the tree he's not supposed to eat, he said "The woman whom YOU GAVE me, she gave me the fruit from the tree and I ate it."
This was the first time God "gave" a spouse and as the nature of man (humans), he turned the blame.
Since then, the bible records only few people that God has SHOWN their spouses and God didn't force a spouse on them while they sat in their comfort zones, take Isaac for example. Our duty is to find the one ordained for us and pray for confirmation. He won't give us a task that is too much for our capacity and he won't "Give" us a spouse like he did with Adam so we don't blame him when something happens. If we find by ourselves (dating and courtship), we'll blame no one.
Yes, there are people who God shows their spouses I believe we're to find while God directs and blesses.
Also, If you haven't mastered God's leading before, hearing Him for marriage may be disastrous.
Because while God can lead, there are many other forces that can lead as well (This may be the reason for wrong marriages).
I'm sorry it's long, i hope I didn't confuse you more.
This is my belief though, different strokes for different folks 😌.
Nahhh, I loved reading every bit of it. Thank you for your comment.
I'm glad you love it.😊
Thank you o much for such a detailed breakdown, you have no idea how grateful I am.
But then again, what if we pray for confirmation but get no answers, this means the person isn't the one right? I'm asking from experience really. I hope you understand.
It May mean you should wait but when we're met with too much "silence" it may mean we should go back to the last thing he told us. Sometimes he has given us an instruction to carry out before that we haven't.
So sometimes when such happens, we need to ask ourselves "what has God told us to do that we haven't?"
Hope this helps 😊
@orah14
It definitely helps. Thank youuuu!
I'm following you ASAP, I hope you can do same😁
I'm so happy 😁
Thank you very much 🥰
And I've been following you since I joined hive 🥰🥰
Oh my, I didn't know that. Good thing I followed asap😁
Thank you very much 😁
Right on point.
Thanks @wolfofnostreet 😊
I also have a lot of unanswered questions about there being one person God has chosen for us that we must only marry. During Bible Study in church, I hear a lot about it. About praying for God to show you the person and about listening to God and marrying who He wants you to. What if you don’t get such revelation from God? Do you stay unmarried till you get it even when you meet someone who feels like your soulmate?
I’m sorry I’m asking more questions instead of trying to help you with yours. I’m just unclear about the issue as well.
Lol....😅😂😅... At least you added to the context.. no need to be sorry. It's quite a confusing topic.
😅Yeah, you’re right.
Nahhh, there's no need to apologise, I understand you. I just do not have the answers either. I hope we can figure it out soon enough.
I hope so too.
There's a thing called freewill that God has given us. We have the freewill to choose our partners, I don't think there's one special person for everyone. We have to put in the work to make a union special. Even in the Bible men and women went after who they wanted.
This sounds more like it🤔🤔🤔🤔
What I know is God has given us the freedom to make our decisions but yet we need to do that while asking for his guidance.
For me, it's best to follow the heart. What's the best way to find who is right for you than through feelings?
If we pray as well, I believe God would pave our hearts to the right person. But it's important to also use the brains as well if the person has all the qualities that are aligning with what we want and with that of a responsible Christian.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm🤔🤔🤔
In other words, follow your heart, but take your brain with you. Also, do not forget to pray.
Yeah the prayer and brains are very necessary!
There a right person for someone, I can't say the only person, If that person goes God will choose another person again for them, if they say don't miss it in marriage it means Don't marry someone who is not God's will, there are God's will everywhere not just one person, if the other didn't do the right thing, he will give that person to another person.
Is this what you mean? That if I miss one, he'll raise another person? If this is it then I couldn't agree more.
Yes of course, he is a merciful one, but you will also have to wait for that one and not rush it.
Absolutely
I see it from another perspective if God has a will for someone and if the person fails to fulfil it, then he would raise another person to do so.
Let's take it like that.
@starstrings01 Yes sir🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mehnnn, I have my own question too ooo
What about those that have married up to 2 or more times?
Does it mean they have several destined partners?
🤔🤔🤔
Lol 😆 🤣, please don't add confusion to my already confused mind.
Wahala 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😅😅😅
The content here is perfect for the community don’t worry about that! You can post whatever you want!
It’s difficult to think about this one for sure. I am a believer in something greater, call it god or whatever you will, but I am also not as big fan of saying god will line things up for you in their schedule. I think more along the line that we are given opportunities that may be divine in nature but we have to take or leave them. For example you ask for a good man. You are then given opportunities to find a good man, that you have to recognize. It doesn’t help someone to give them what they ask for but give them chances to learn that a situation could help them achieve what they need. Back to the man part, you ask for one and I think you are then presented with opportunities in which you may meet a good one. You just have to recognize the opportunity and take it or leave it.