At least, you are learning from that.
I have to...or else more people will suffer
There are so many things that could go wrong in patient care. From the floor to the lab and everything in between. I can empathize your frustration and that feeling of guilt as I've had experiences like that in the lab.
So true...I was just telling @gentleshaid about the case of blood transfusion going wrong.
Understanding where things could go wrong, even with competent staff, was one of the reasons I was very worried when my kid was in NICU years back. I was literally running every possible scenario in my mind.
I can't imagine what that must be like. I once took took care of a consultant radiologist son here in Pediatrics. It was a case of complicated malaria. He was like a house officer for his own son. Doing everything he could to make sure the best outcome would be realised.