What a fascinating read. 👏👏 Easy to follow, flowed nicely, interesting concept to boot. I've never thought about writing in this style, thanks for adding another hook to the bucket list. 😁 I also like that it can serve as a standalone or the beginning of some huge epic. 👌 Good shit.
If I was to give you feedback, I'd say watch out on the punctuation front. You're not bad, but sometimes commas are missing, and other times they are there when they don't need to be. 😁 It's no biggie, no biggie at all. But I felt like you should be aware of it. (you might already be, but we're about improving one's craft here more than anything 😌)
Good stuff, thanks for the hook idea, and I'm curious to read more of your writings now. 🙂
Thank you so very much!!
I hope you try the hook idea out!!