Dartin — Hive

Life has always seemed relatively easy to Dartin, as easy as life can be if you don't mind having just enough food for a daily meal - given you are a bit loose with the definition of meal.

"He was not like other bums, he had an apartment and a job. This did not change the fact that technically this was all just luck."

Dartin would often muse that if things went just slightly more left instead of right - which he also mused seems rightly named since right is by definition, correct; He would then be a defacto bum.

The thought always had a bit of an edge to it, the kind of edge which you tried to avoid as some madman raced past you on the freeway and then you ended up in a ditch.

The ditch Dartin thought does have some charm to it. Oddly the charm was the naive idea that one would then want to get out of the ditch.

WOULD YOU PREFER TO SUFFER?

Now there is a thought. Then Dartin realised it was not particularly his thought. It had the signature of being his; It was not however as thoughts felt his matter-of-factly.

WOULD YOU PREFER TO DIE?

Dartin paused. The side of his face was currently being smushed against the shop window, the small holes in the sticker covering the outside doing a nifty trick where you can look out but not look in. Giving the world outside a sideways look, Dartin considered death over suffering. He will have to loop back to the "being a better bum than the bums he saw trudging past each day. " Line of thought.

After a few seconds and changing cheeks he did not so much think as feel the difference in choices. No, Dartin decided "I would prefer to die."

His reasoning was that if he was strong enough to suffer then he would in fact have suffered. Therefore he is more the type to just die.

Then he thought about how if he was truly in the ditch he might just stay there.

This was a lot for a smushed face looking at the world a bit askew to process. So Dartin stepped back and looked at the world head-on; Nothing changed.

"That is what you get for daydreaming." his mind continued.

YOU ARE SCARED.

"Hmm", Dartin thought, still standing by the window so close he could smell last year's dust. "You don't need to clean windows if they have stickers on," he interjected. Outside a potential customer went to the next shop instead and Dartin breathed a sigh of relief.

Stirring his coffee a bit longer than usual Dartin took a sip and did not think anything.

Leaning forward on the counter Dartin lays his head down in folded arms and decided a bit of a horizontal view of the world outside might be an appropriate change. He remembered hearing something about the amount of energy your eyelids consume. Never really having confirmed the facts of this claim he did accept it as truth on account of having eyelids and closed them.

THE WEIGHT IS DECEPTIVE.

Dartin always found a standing nap to have a different weight to it, not too different from a normal nap at just the right moment without the benefit of letting you drift off.

Drifting away was a release but just drifting had intensity. Thoughts have weight to them and while shuffling his feet a bit for a better position it dawned on him. "It is like sinking without drowning." then he opened his eyes and buoyed to the surface.

"Urgh, don't stop don't stop." He whispered as he spots a car slowing down, fortunately, they were only preparing for the upcoming turn and Dartin sighed with relief.

I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE

Dartin pretended the thought did not occur, like knowing the exact position of the thing you are not going to look at.

Silently he went to make another mug. "That is enough drifting for today, I should focus on something I can solve right now," and that was that. His next thoughts only had a tinge of dread in them disguised as motivation.

IT WON'T LAST.
It said this knowing Dartin won't listen, not the way he listens to the others. It also knew this made no difference because what It had to say were things Dartin would feel.