I have to say that this is the moment that resonated the most deeply with me when I read it:
You realize much too late that you’re not going to be making it to your destination after all, because the door won’t open and it hurts now, it’s so hot. You scream. You scream as the fire strips away what’s human, louder as it gets into the animal of you.
It STILL gives me goosebumps reading it. So visceral.
As far as feedback is concerned, I felt that it was very well executed. The pacing of the story was good, with just enough action/suspense to keep your readers riveted without compromising the world building and scene setting. Never felt too fast or too slow, and every time I was left hungry to know what happened next, which kept me coming back for more. I think there was just the right amount of time between chapters, too. Kept me engaged for an extended period of time and gave me something to look forward to each week. All in all, very well done, my friend. I'm looking forward to seeing more from you!
Thank you for the detailed feedback here, and all along the way 🙂 ~ it is very rewarding and validating to see folks expressing thoughts as they read through.