I like this post.
It’s a reflection of where we are with unschooling and how it fits in to our lives.
It’s similar that if we try to teach directly teach ‘T’ something he has no immediate interest in, then he switches off, disengages immediately. However, if we build general writing and reading for example in to an activity where we are naming some new creatures he’s just made from modelling clay, then he suddenly want to write. And we give his as much help as he needs.
And suddenly, he’s practising writing and slowly making connections between sounds and words and letters etc
He’s gone past that now and has a really good understanding of words in his own way, and writes his own sentences for us.
The spelling isn’t always right but it’s incredible that he’s even doing it. And he’s never had a reading or writing “lesson” in his life!
As you suggested; there’s no measuring going on, no expectation, no benchmark - just learning as we go.
He doesn’t NEED to be able to do specific things or is expected to perform tasks at an arbitrary age.
It’s just life. He does it because he wants to. Or not.
One thing I would ask you is about bedtime and rest.
We used to let ours stay up and burn out naturally - however we discovered that he just didn’t crash. He was nuclear. Non-stop!
It wore us out and eventually caught up on him; so these days we encourage a bedtime early enough that it will result in him not being a cranky the next day.
How do you manage that side of things?
What sort of age are yours and what kind of activities are you doing? Thanks!
oh, thank you so much for you story! I like your example:)
and I share your thoughts. I try to do the same - to find ways where the tasks he needs to know will be really needed at that period of time, and he himself can see it, and thus he will have a natural desire to have this very skill. And it works great. All the rest variants fail, or give very slow results.
about sleeping.
My son is 5 now, and he seems to be a little owl, like his dad;) my husband has a night time of work and activities, and my son took this habbit long ago. Of course, he didn't play all night long, but he could go to bed at 1-2 am even at 3-4 years. It was shock for all my family. We debate much, they critisized me, told I was a bad mom, it was wrong, he needed to sleep etc. Yes, I agree there is a definite nature laws, and people should follow them, it is important for health, but I know that individuality means much too, and if a person has definite habbits or desires to do smth not like the rest people do, it's also ok. If he feels ok - then it's ok. it lasted for about 1 year. I didn't make him go to bed when all the rest kids do it. You don't want still? Ok, do it later. And I never had problems how to male him fall asleep. He wants to sleep - he goes and sleeps. I know many moms who spend hours for this process. Maybe because their kid is still full of energy and it's not time for him to go to bed? But mom says...and they go...
Later the process changed without my pushes. He started to go to bed earlier and woke up earlier too. Nature has made its corrections, and my son felt now this variant was better for him. Ok. Better for me too. Now we go to bed about 11 pm, and it's ok.
Wow that is so brilliant his sleep pattern worked so well!
We tried the same but it really didn’t work sadly.
I love how he naturally corrected his own sleep and now it’s a stress free situation. Well done!
We did similar but from age 2-4; he would often fall asleep around 1-2am, but because of his fiery nature and his lack of understanding at that age we couldn’t keep going because of his awful moods and meltdowns. Which was so hard.
But he’s 7 and slightly better now at knowing and accepting when he’s tired.
Love your story and it’s such a triumph!
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